'AITA for being mad after my MIL kept making unpassable tests for my mothering skills?'
"AITAH for shutting down my MIL after she kept “testing” me as a mother?"
MatchaSparks says:
Ever since my baby was born, my MIL has been constantly second-guessing me. At first, it was little comments—“Oh, you do it like that? Huh.” But lately, it’s like she’s trying to catch me messing up.
For context, my relationship with my MIL has always been… polite but not exactly close. She’s always been a little overbearing, but since I had the baby, it’s like she’s taken it to a whole new level. She suddenly acts like she’s the expert on parenting, and I’m just some clueless rookie.
My husband is her only son, and I honestly think she still sees him as her little boy rather than, you know, an adult with his own family. She’s always been a bit opinionated, but now it feels like she’s going out of her way to prove she knows better than me.
She keeps making these weird little “tests.” She’ll tell me to put socks on the baby, and the second I do, she’ll go, “Oh, now she’s too hot.” Or she’ll say I should let her cry for a bit, and the moment I do, she’s like, “A good mother would know when to step in.” No matter what I do, she finds a way to make it wrong. It’s just constant little digs, like she’s waiting for me to fail at something so she can make a comment.
The final straw? My baby was fussy, and MIL handed her to me with a smirk and said, “Let’s see if she even stops for you.” Like she was waiting for me to fail. I was already exhausted, and that was just too much. It felt like she wasn’t even trying to hide it at that point.
I snapped and told her, “I’m not playing this game with you.” Now she’s acting like I was rude for no reason and has told my husband I need to apologize. He thinks I should just let it go, but I’m tired of her treating me like I have to prove myself as a mother. It’s exhausting. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments.
celticmusebooks says:
You need to start calling her on it. For example with the socks-- you should have responded "Yes, putting those socks on her was not a very good idea. I shouldn't have listened to you and gone with my gut feeling on that."
OR "Yeah, I shouldn't have listened to you when you said to let her cry. I need stop listening to other people and do what I feel is right." If it keeps up ask her directly-- why do you keep giving me such terrible advice? It's like you're setting me up to fail."
Similar-Traffic7317 says:
NTA. Stand your ground. Your MIL owes YOU the apology. Until she does and agrees to change her attitude quickly, don't invite her back to your house. Your husband needs to back you up or shut the hell up.
OP responded:
Yeah ATP. I’m not bending over backwards to make her comfortable while she disrespects me. If my husband doesn’t want to back me up, that’s on him, but I’m not letting this slide anymore. It's too much.
unimaginative_person says:
I would turn to her and say "A good mother would know the bast thing for a baby is happy relaxed confident parents. This only happens if they are given time to bond and learn how to be parents together. " Then I would say, "Thank you for being a good mother and giving us the space we need" while walking her to the door.