'AITA for walking out of family dinner after my parents insulted my wife as a joke?'

"AITA for walking out of a family dinner after my parents insulted my wife?"

Beautiful-Matter-731 writes:

My (33M) wife, Fah (32F), is from Thailand. We met while she was studying in the U.S., fell in love, and got married five years ago. She's an amazing woman—kind, hardworking, and incredibly smart. Unfortunately, my parents have never fully accepted her.

From the beginning, they made offhand comments about her being a gold digger and only marrying me for a green card. No matter how many times I told them otherwise, they held onto this ignorant assumption.

It doesn’t matter that Fah has a successful career, makes her own money (she makes more than me, by the way), and has never asked me for a dime—because in their eyes, she's one of those women who wanted to trap an American man.

Last weekend, we had dinner at my parents' house. At first, things were civil. But then my dad smirked and said, "So, Fah, now that you’ve been married five years, do you finally get to keep your green card?" My mom laughed and added, "Guess you don’t have to be on your best behavior anymore, huh?"

Fah went pale. I was furious. I told them to cut it out, but my dad doubled down and said they were just joking. Then he added that we can't blame them for wondering how much of this marriage was for love and how much was for the visa. My mom nodded and said they just wanted to make sure I wasn’t taken advantage of.

That was it. I stood up, told them we weren’t staying for dinner, and walked out with Fah. In the car, she was quiet. Then she finally asked me if they really think that way about her, which just broke my heart.

Now my parents are saying I embarrassed them in front of the rest of the family and overreacted. My brother says I should've just kept the peace and talked to them later. They’re refusing to apologize, claiming it was just a joke. I don’t regret standing up for my wife, but now I'm wondering if maybe I should've just waited until everyone else was gone to call them out on it.

OP responded to some comments:

Sweet_Perception5878 says:

I can totally imagine my narcissistic family having the same reaction, belittling my partner for no reason other than their own ignorant biases. It must've been so painful for your wife to hear those comments, and standing up for her was the right thing to do.

You shouldn't have to endure that kind of disrespect, and I truly believe that if more people had your back like you did for her, the world would be a better place. Do you think they’ll ever come around, or is this a pattern with your family?

OP responded:

To be honest if they haven't came around after 5 years of marriage then I think they will never accept it.

melodicmedicc says:

NTA. I don’t understand how people can make “jokes” like this and think it’s okay. All good jokes contain some truth.

OP responded:

Yes exactly, we have discussed moving to her home in Thailand. I already work remote so shouldn't be that big of a deal and I'm sure that she won't have too much trouble finding a job either.

What do you think?