'My parents replaced me with an exchange student, am I right to refuse to come home?'
As parents seeing your children go off to college can be jarring. Some parents get separation anxiety, and others jump on the opportunity of having an extra room. On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one teen is taken aback by how his parents cope with him leaving for college.
AITA for canceling my plane ticket back home for thanksgiving?
Children are replaceable.
I (19M) left the state for college back in August. Two days before I had left, I had a friend over to eat with us. My parents decided right then was a great time to discuss bringing a foreign exchange student into our home.
Uh-oh, someone feels guilty about being a 'burden' on others.
This girl (18F) lived in another family's home, around fifteen minutes from my old high school. She didn't have a car and thus felt terrible that she was asking her host family for rides to school events, friends' houses, etc. The host family decided to put up a Facebook post saying that it was not highly urgent but that she would love a host family closer.
That's a little creepy, honestly.
Keep in mind this is all being told to me for the first time while in front of my friend. I bring up instantly that it feels like as soon as I go away for college, it feels like I am being replaced. I ask where she will be sleeping, and they say something like, 'obviously, in your bed.' My parents laugh at me and say that I am just jealous my brother will have a girl in the house.
OP doesn't appreciate his parent's communication style.
It was a peculiar atmosphere because my parents seemed to have decided before telling me but had waited until the final days of my summer vacation to inform me. I went to bed feeling unwell, and when I eventually flew out, it was all I could think about.
Things move quickly.
By the second week, I was gone, and the girl was already moved in. My parents commonly call me on the weekend to catch up as I am a state away, and it's not something I usually think much of, but the call didn't come that weekend. I didn't hear from them other than through texts for another two weeks.
OP is not here for reminders.
We are in week four of classes, and my mother tells me it is time to buy a thanksgiving ticket home. Before I say anything, she tells me, 'remember, you have to sleep on the couch!' I hung up the call. I would have given my bed to this chick; even though I hadn't met her, I wouldn't kick her into the common space, mainly because my bed was where she had been sleeping for a month. Even so, it was how my mom said it, like I didn't know, which got me upset.
OP feels unwanted.
I decided in the end that they chose to have Thanksgiving with this girl over me and that I have every right to spend my thanksgiving with who I wish to be. They decided a girl they hadn't met before who was sad she lived fifteen minutes from school rather than five, over me. She wasn't even a new foreign exchange student. I will be back home over Christmas break when she has left.
Is someone being a brat?
My parents are calling me childish for acting this way.
So, AITA?
Vegetable_Sundae5557 says:
Absolutely NTA (Not the A**hole). Your parents are completely in the wrong here by allowing this girl, a stranger, to live in YOUR room without consulting you and then telling you that you'd have to sleep on the couch when you came home. OP, you deserve to spend Thanksgiving with people who care for and respect you.
Alpacaliondingo says:
NAH (No A**holes Here), I don't think anyone is an asshole. I think you all need to communicate better. I also don't think it's realistic to expect your parents to keep your bedroom intact while you live away for most of the year.
ll-r says:
YTA (You're the A**hole).
I mean “chick,” please. So demeaning.
Reality check:
You are self-centered.
You don’t care about your parents. You “never really thought about” their phone call? Why are you not thinking about them and phoning them to tell them you are safe and settled in. Why are you not phoning and asking how they are doing without you?
And, of course, you wouldn’t expect her to sleep on the sofa.
You expect your parents to evict her.
You’re pouting.
I mean, sigh.
YTA