'AITA for kicking my sister out of my wedding because her toddler was annoying?'
"AITA for asking my sister to leave my wedding after her toddler wouldn’t settle down?"
Worried-Buyer9362 writes:
So, I (29F) recently got married to my husband (30M) in a beautiful, intimate ceremony. It was a dream come true—we’d been planning everything for over a year, and the big day was just perfect… except for one thing.
My sister (26F) has a 3-year-old daughter, Lily, and while I knew she was planning to bring her to the wedding, I had asked her months in advance if she could consider leaving Lily with a babysitter for the evening.
I explained that the ceremony and reception were going to be pretty formal, and I didn’t think it would be the best environment for a toddler. I even offered to help find someone to watch Lily and pay for it, but my sister insisted she’d be fine and that Lily would be on her best behavior. I really didn’t want to cause any tension, so I let it go.
Fast forward to the reception, and things started off fine. Lily was a little excited but mostly calm. However, as dinner was served, she started to get fussy and whiny. She wasn’t throwing a tantrum, but she was visibly bored and restless.
My sister handed her a tablet to try to calm her down, but it wasn’t working. Lily kept fussing and saying she didn’t want to sit down, and she started wandering around a bit. She was definitely distracting, and it was becoming obvious that people were noticing.
I tried to let it go for a little while, but after 20 minutes, I could tell it was starting to affect the atmosphere. People were whispering about how hard it was to hear the speeches over the background noise, and I started to feel a little embarrassed.
I decided to approach my sister and asked if she could take Lily outside or at least try to get her to calm down. I suggested maybe going for a short walk or finding a quiet spot, but my sister just said, “She’s just a kid. She’ll be fine.”
After the speeches, Lily started walking around the tables, interrupting conversations, and I was really starting to get frustrated. I didn’t want to be the bad guy, but I had put so much effort into making sure this day was special and enjoyable for everyone, and it felt like the mood was being spoiled.
So, I told my sister that I loved her, but it might be best if she took Lily home if she couldn’t settle her down. I was trying to be as calm and polite as possible, but I felt like it was necessary to ask.
My sister was not happy about this. She said I was being dramatic and that I should be more understanding—it’s her daughter, and she can’t just leave her at home every time there’s an event. She told me I was being too uptight and “ruining my own day by caring about the little things.”
Eventually, my sister decided to leave with Lily, and we didn’t speak for the rest of the night. Since then, there’s been some tension with the family. My mom and some relatives think I overreacted and should’ve just let it go.
They say toddlers get fussy, and it’s not a big deal. Others think I had every right to ask her to leave if her daughter was distracting the event. My husband is on my side, but now my sister isn’t speaking to me, and some family members are upset with me for making a big issue out of nothing. So, AITA for asking my sister to leave my wedding after her toddler wouldn’t settle down?
Here are the top rated comments.
brightwhimsicality says:
NTA. You gave her plenty of notice, offered solutions, and tried to handle it politely on the day. Weddings are big, once-in-a-lifetime events, and it’s fair to want the focus on the ceremony, not on a restless toddler. Your sister had options but chose not to take them. If she can’t respect your wishes for one day, that’s not on you.
OP responded:
Thank you! You’re right—I did try to offer solutions and give her plenty of notice. I wasn’t trying to be unreasonable; I just wanted the focus to be on the ceremony and the special day. It wasn’t about Lily being a toddler, it was about making sure everyone could enjoy the moment without distractions.
I gave my sister options, and I feel like I handled it as politely as I could, but she chose not to respect the boundaries I set. At the end of the day, it’s my wedding, and I think it’s fair to expect a little cooperation. I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from!
Duckr74 says:
Was she the ONLY toddler there? If so why didn’t you make it a child free wedding?
OP responded:
Yes, Lily was the youngest child there, but there were other kids who were about a year or two older. They didn’t cause any commotion and seemed to understand the setting better. Honestly, I thought it wouldn’t be an issue, since the older kids were perfectly behaved, and I didn’t want to single Lily out.
In hindsight, I should have either made it a child-free wedding or made sure everyone had clear expectations for their kids. It’s just tough because I didn’t want to seem like I was excluding anyone, but now I see how that backfired.