My sister didn't correct her son's sexist language and now he's getting bullied, AITA?

I told my sister (33F) it's her fault her son is getting bullied and now she's mad.

ughascreen1 writes:

My sister (33F) has two sons: Bracken (13M) and Neville (11M). My husband (24M) and I went to a basket raffle at our local library this past weekend with my sister, Bracken, Neville, Bracken’s girlfriend (13F), and my sister’s husband (33M).

This raffle is held every year and features many local businesses and organizations that donate baskets to help raise funds for the library. There are all sorts of baskets, from free massages to gift cards, sports jerseys, and much more.

Bracken got some tickets for all the sports-related ones since he plays baseball and has done this every year. He's been pretty successful in the past. Bracken then went around with his girlfriend.

I was hanging out with my husband, sister, and the rest of the family while looking at the baskets. Bracken and his girlfriend came back to us shortly after. While still looking at the baskets, we saw some science-themed baskets with projects and books for kids and adults. This type of stuff is what Neville likes. It was going fine until, in that section, they had a few baskets aimed at girls in science/STEM.

When Neville saw the baskets, he called them stupid and started making some pretty awful comments about how girls are "too dumb" for science and that's why they needed special baskets

He made some more comments like, "this is why robotics club is all boys." My husband and I just dismissed it, but we could see a few people giving us looks, and Bracken made a comment telling Neville to shut his mouth.

The raffle happened, and Bracken won a lot, but the rest of us didn't. On the car ride home, my hubby and I were asking each other where Neville could have learned that language, and we were stumped.

Last night, I got a call from my sister, and she seemed stressed. She was telling me about how horrible Neville's first month of middle school was. She was telling me he was being targeted and bullied. I asked her to explain what happened, and she was just crying. I asked if she could give the phone to someone else.

She gave it to Bracken, who told us that she wasn't telling the truth. He said that kids were mocking Neville for what he said at the raffle. Bracken admitted he was telling his friends about it, who then spread it around to the 6th graders.

Some of the kids in Neville's grade were calling him creepy and weird, and they were doing it to his friends as well, who defended his comments. My sister quickly grabbed the phone from him afterward.

After she calmed down, she asked me what to do. I told her that this was on her and her fault for not correcting Neville's behavior. She said that she didn't know why he said it and argued that she "can't just take away his phone or friends" when I mentioned both as possible sources.

She just doubled down and said she needed to "teach Bracken and his friends not to gossip." I told her she was being ridiculous and hung up. She tried calling back, I didn't pick up, and then I got angry texts. Am I the a$%hole (AITA)?

Here are some of the top comments from the post:

HeirOfRavenclaw says:

I thought this was going to be about bullying because she named her son Bracken. NTA (Not the A#%hole).

SneakySneakySquirrel says:

Why did you ignore Neville’s comment instead of saying something as important adults in his life? Why is it falling on other kids to address his behavior?

Richi_i says:

ESH (Everyone Sucks Here, except Bracken). We have an 11-year-old falling into the misogynistic, sexist rabbit hole. It's just poor parenting.

No one, including you, your husband, and his mom, said anything; instead, they ignored his comment. I applaud Bracken for at least telling him to shut up.

Bracken is the only one who made sure Neville knew what he said was wrong, even if it caused bullying. I bet Neville knows what he said was wrong now because of Bracken. I see it as a bully learning his lesson.

You're not wrong, though; your sister should have put some sense into her kid's head. But at the same time, you ignored what Neville said. Sure, she's the parent, but he needs to know that everyone disapproves of his behavior, which includes you.

What do you think? Should OP have said something to Neville to quiet his language, or is she right that this is on his mother?