'AITA for banning my 5yo sister from my wedding unless she goest to therapy?' UPDATED
"AITA for banning my 5yo sister from my wedding unless she goest to therapy?"
flowergirltherapy writes:
I just want to start off by saying I (24f) love my baby sister more than anything in the world. I drive a 3-row car because it is able to fit her and my other siblings (9f, 7m) and some of their friends. My fiancé and I watch the kids after school every day, and they spend the night with us 2-4 days a week. My fiancé is great with the kids, and they adore him.
My fiancé proposed 6 months ago, and when we told the kids, the older two were excited, but Evie, the 5-year-old, was furious. She started crying and hitting me because she wanted to marry him, and if I marry him, she can't. She refused to speak to me for almost a week. Now she's mostly okay, but she gets mad at me and starts crying and hitting me anytime she sees me kiss him.
She was supposed to be our flower girl, but I really don't think she'll be able to sit through the wedding without some kind of outburst. So I called our dad, told him about all of this, and said that she won't be allowed to attend the wedding unless she starts seeing a therapist before the wedding. The wedding is in September, so he has a couple of months to get her into therapy.
He's saying she doesn't need therapy, she's just a 5-year-old with a crush on my fiancé, I'm overreacting, and she won't forgive me if I exclude her from the wedding. AITA for banning her unless he gets her therapy?
OP responded to some comments:
Motor-Juggernaut1009 writes:
Umm where are the parents? Why is no one telling her that she can’t behave this way?
OP responded:
We do tell her she can't behave this way.
Motor-Juggernaut1009 then asked:
Who is ”we”? Are there consequences? Violence and biting until someone bleeds is a dangerous sign. Is this even real?
OP responded:
Me and my fiancé. She sits in time out every time this happens and if this happens outside of the house we leave and take her home. My fiancé even refuses to play with her after and tells her that he doesn't play with people that hit.
Motor-Juggernaut1009
Still wondering where her parents are?
OP responded:
Not very invovled.
Mydoghiskid says:
Why the f^#k did they have so many kids if they don’t want to be involved? You and your fiance need to distance yourselves from them and your father (who is the mother? Is she your mother as well?) needs to figure this out. Stop wasting your life on other people’s kids.
OP responded:
We have different moms. Their mom doesn't seem to want anything to do with the kids if she can't get cute pictures for her insta. Dad has never been very involved.
OP came back later with some edits:
We have tried everything. We’ve talked about her behavior, her feelings, that what she’s doing isn’t acceptable, that my fiance will still be in her life but nothing helped. She goes to time out right when she starts hitting and kicking, she loses toys, she’s left outings early, and my fiance refuses to play with her after because he doesn’t play with anyone that hits.
This is not normal 5 year old behavior. There is nothing else we can do. We will not hit her. And to everyone saying her parents need to parent, how do you suggest I do that? They’ll neglect the kids whether they have them full or part time.
Then OP came back with a new post and a full update:
My dad dropped the kids off last night and while I was giving the youngest a bath I started to get dizzy and nauseous so I called my fiance to get her out of the bath and in bed. He got her out of the bath and gave her a towel then focused on me.
That set her off so she started her hitting/kicking/pushing and when my fiance let go of me to grab her, she was able to push me over and I cracked my head on the edge of the bathtub. It was a mess.
My fiance called 911 on his phone while using mine to call my dad to get the kids. I hurt my head and neck and will be in the hospital for the next few days. My when my dad picked the kids up my fiance told him we won’t be watching them anymore unless we become their guardians.