'AITA for ruining my sister's marriage by revealing her husband's affair with her best friend?'
"AITA for telling my sister her husband was cheating on her with her best friend?"
Big_Acanthaceae9465 writes:
So this is a mess. I (32F) found out something awful a couple of months ago, and now it feels like my whole family is crumbling. My sister (Emily, 34F) has been married to John (36M) for seven years.
Everything seemed fine in their marriage until I noticed… something off. Emily’s best friend Sarah has been around since we were kids. She’s like family, so none of us ever questioned how close she was with John.
But I started seeing things. At first, it was small stuff, like how John and Sarah would sit together a bit too close during family gatherings, or how they had these little side conversations and inside jokes that Emily wasn’t part of. It didn’t sit right with me, but I thought maybe I was overthinking things. They were close friends after all, right? But then, I couldn’t shake the feeling.
Then the worst happened. One night, I decided to grab a late drink after work, and I saw them. John and Sarah. At a bar. And it wasn’t just them hanging out; they were making out in the corner booth like teenagers. My heart literally dropped. I froze, didn’t know what to do. So, I snapped a pic on my phone and walked out of there. I was shaking.
I didn’t know what to do with the information. I spent weeks torturing myself over it. Should I tell my sister and blow up her life? Or should I keep quiet and let her live in the blissful lie? I couldn’t look at her without feeling this horrible guilt. Every time she talked about John or Sarah, it felt like I was about to explode.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told Emily. I showed her the photo, and at first, she just stared at me like I had destroyed her world. She couldn’t believe it. She accused me of lying, of being jealous, of trying to stir drama in her life.
But I just stood there, letting her scream at me because I knew she needed to let it out. Eventually, she confronted John and Sarah. And guess what? They admitted it.They’d been having an affair for six months behind her back.
Emily kicked John out and is now moving forward with divorce. And as for Sarah, she's out of the picture. I thought Emily would hate me, but she actually thanked me for telling her the truth. She said she would’ve never known and felt like an idiot for missing the signs.
But now my parents are PISSED at me. Like, absolutely furious. They think I ruined their marriage and didn’t give them a chance to work it out. My dad told me, “Sometimes people can move on from affairs, but you left her no choice.”
They’re acting like I wrecked their lives. My mom even said I should’ve "kept it to myself" and that Emily could've worked things out if I hadn’t intervened. Now the family is divided, and it feels like I’m the bad guy for telling the truth.
I can’t lie, it’s been really hard. Emily's been leaning on me for support, but now I’m on bad terms with my parents and it’s all just a mess. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I’m questioning if I made things worse. So, AITA for telling my sister about the affair? Should I have kept quiet?
Here are the top comments from the post and OP responded to some.
Bushwick_Hipster says:
Your parents sound like they are speaking from experience lol, is there anything they need to tell you about their past regarding infidelity?! It was up to your sister and her husband to determine how they were going to handle it (like go to couples therapy, take a break, etc).
The end result is not on you. Imagine how hurt your sister would be if she found out years later and that you knew about it the whole time. Something tells me that your parents already knew about it.
OP responded:
I don't know why my parents act that crazy she is there daughter and she deserves the truth!
VaguelyFamiliarVoice says:
NTA. And it may be they have intimate knowledge of moving on from affairs given their targeting you instead of the perpetrators.
OP responded:
I don't care they know a lot of stuff but it is what it is. My sister needed to know the truth about the affair!!