'AITA for not picking up the pieces after my 'golden child' sister disappeared on purpose?'
"AITA for not letting my sister's kids move in?"
Background-Deal4630 writes:
Ok, so this is a mess, and I need to know if I’m being a complete a-hole or not. My (32F) sister "Lisa" (36F) has always been the golden child in our family. Growing up, she could do no wrong. She got into trouble? It was just "kids being kids." She made mistakes? "Oh, Lisa is just figuring things out." Meanwhile, I got the "why can't you be more like your sister?" treatment.
Anyway, fast forward to now. Lisa has three kids (8F, 6M, and 4M) and is married to "Jason" (38M). I have no kids, but I’ve been saving up to buy my first home, and let me tell you, it’s been a grind. I've been working two jobs for years, and I just finally closed on a small house last month. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s mine, and I’m proud of it.
So here’s where the drama starts. Lisa and Jason have been having issues for a while, but a few weeks ago, Lisa decided she needed a "break." Not just from Jason, but apparently from being a mom too. She packed a bag and left.
Just like that. Jason is scrambling, trying to work and take care of the kids, but he works long hours, and now the kids are bouncing between my mom’s house and his cousin's place.
My mom calls me up last week and says, "You have the space now, so why don’t you let the kids stay with you until Lisa gets her act together?" I was shocked. Like, absolutely floored. I told her, "Mom, I just moved in. I’m still unpacking. I don’t even have furniture in half the rooms yet. I’m not equipped to take care of three kids!"
She started guilt-tripping me, saying, "They're family, and they need stability right now. You’re just being selfish." Then she said something that really pissed me off: "Well, you don’t have kids, so it’s not like you have anything else to focus on."
I snapped. I told her that Lisa is the selfish one here, not me. She’s the one who walked out on her kids! And why should I have to put my life on hold because Lisa can't handle hers? Mom started crying and said I was being heartless.
The whole family is now split. Some are on my side, saying it’s unfair for me to suddenly become a caretaker, while others are calling me cold and ungrateful. Lisa, by the way, hasn’t even called to check in. She’s been posting Instagram pics from God knows where, looking like she’s living her best life.
I feel bad for the kids—I really do—but I didn’t sign up to be their mom. I worked hard to get to where I am, and I don’t think it’s fair to just drop everything because my sister decided to bail.
Here are the top rated comments from the post:
SSbullfrog says:
NTA. It sounds like your sister never learned what accountability is.
Creepy-Stable-6192 says:
NTA. And if anyone decides to drop the kids off, call the police and report an abandonment of children. As your mom said, you guys are family... so she should be more then willing to let them move in with her for stability.
CatCharacter848 says:
So how are you going to care for 3 kids while working 2 jobs. And how are you going to pay your mortgage if you give up work to be the children's carer. Do not do this. Your family are unreasonable. You'd jepodise your life and then your sister will just swan back in and go back to normal.
amandacutiegirlie says:
No, NTA. Tell them to not be selfish either if that's the main issue. You finally got yourself a safe place, now you need some time to start feeling safe in there. Your sister is an absolute idiot and should get judged a lot harsher than this, just saying.