'AITA because my friend is a 'package deal' with her husband so I uninvited her from Galentine's Day?'
"AITA for not letting my friends husband come to my Galentine’s party?"
Fluffyycatt writes:
One of my (29/F) best friends (32/F) got married last spring. Since she got married, we mostly do group hangouts with her husband (38/M), my partner, and some other friends, which is totally fine and fun!
I have a Galentine’s party every year for my girlfriends—usually about 4-5 of us. We all bring an appetizer, have wine, play some games, etc. I texted the group to let them know, and everyone responded.
My friend messaged me privately to say that if her husband can’t come, she can’t come, and she asked if he could come with her. I normally would welcome him, but no one else’s husband or boyfriend will be there, and it just isn’t that kind of party lol.
I told her that no one else’s partners would be there, and she said that since being married, they are a “package deal” and only attend things together. I told her I respected whatever arrangements they had in their marriage and that if she wasn’t able to attend, I understood.
However, a few days later, a mutual friend told me that they talked, and she said she was hurt by the fact I wouldn’t invite him and felt I was being rude. I do plan to talk to her about it but just need some feedback.
Here are the top rated comments with OP's responses:
SlinkyMalinky20 says:
It’s literally the one thing that’s about supporting female friendships lol. Read the room, no boys allowed.
OP responded:
Yes! I do this every year as a little “thank you” to the women in my life.
dudleymunta says:
It was the ‘she can’t come’ that concerns me. Could be a ‘don’t want to’ can’t, or a ‘he won’t let me’ can’t. As you say, either is unhealthy, but the latter is the early stages of coercive control.
OP responded:
Yes - and that was her exact works “I can’t.”
Ok-Sorbet-5767 says:
It's literally called Galentine's Day. This girl's relationship ideas are terrifying. Are you planning it on Valentine's Day? I only ask because I would understand being together for that.
OP responded:
No I’m having it the day before!