"AITA for not coming to my brother's wedding because of the fiance?"

I 23F cut off my 26M brother for dating someone I knew in middle school. They recently got engaged and I refuse to go to the wedding. She 23F and I only met in middle school and were instantly friends. We often hung out together and didn't pretty much everything together. Her and my brother were friends back then but I never thought to much of it because I thought they were being friendly.

In 8th grade she decided I was "Too Boring" to be friends with. After that she started to bully me to the point where I had decided to switch all my classes completely so I can avoid her. No matter how much I tried I could never fully avoid her.

Soon or later I started seeing her with my brother everywhere. I told my brother what was happening and he said "You probably deserved it ik she wouldn't just do that" we argued for hours until I got sick of it and left. After that day I was hurt but he apologized and said that he wouldn't see her anymore.

We became very close after that until I saw them at the mall 3 years later. Thinking he lied and was sneaking around with her made my bloodboil. I ran up to them and confronted them wondering why he lied. He tried to explain but I was to angry to pay attention. Until I noticed her laughing. She acted like this was a joke and I couldn't take it. I decided to leave before it got any worse and to get revenge.

I decided to go on a date with the girl she replaced me with as I known she shown interest in me. Me and her had often flirted and I had made a few remarks of "In a different life we would be soulmates" and other flirtatious lines like that.

We went to a place my brother and her often went while they were together. I made sure my brother went there that day. As soon as we saw them I saw the smile fade from her face and a vein pop from her forehead and it was so satisfying. My brother started yelling at me about how what I did was wrong and said how hypocritical I was being.

I decided to tell him that what I was doing was because of how he got with the girl who bullied me for what felt like years. He said how I was being insecure, delusional and was jealous that she dropped me.

Me and him argued and ending of up deciding he was going to move in with her and after I got into college I would stay in the dorms and he could move back home after I left to make it easier for both of us to live our lives. A few years later he said they broke up and he was sorry for taking his girlfriends side over mine.

Earlier this year I got an invitation to a wedding of his and my bully who he said he broke up with. I visited him and said how he shouldn't have lied and how I will not be coming to the wedding. He yelled at me and said how I was just as insecure as I was all those years ago and how she was right to bully me because of how I thought everything was about me.

I simply said how she has turned him into someone younger him would be ashamed of. He said how I couldn't possibly be talking about him while I snuck around with the same girl who watched as I was bullied. I told him I was leaving and he grabbed and said how she was right. I said how he shouldn't expect me to even think of him as family and how I am disappointed in the man he became. So AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

ThatWhovianChick9 said:

He backed up your bully and said you deserve it. Think about that. You really want someone who saw what your bully did to you and backed that up? Also decided that you can’t get away from them forever? He is making sure your bully stays connected to you. She laughed at your pain right in front of him. Which means she also feels comfortable with doing that. Why is that?

Go NC with him. He showed you over and over how he feels about you. No one should be telling you that you deserved to get bullied.

Future_Falcon_7233 said:

NTA - The way he excuse his fiance past behavior is sickening. Bullying and being bit up are horrifying to experience. He didn't took your feeling into consideration once, worse he's trying to make sense of it. Nobody deserve to be bullied. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I would cut contact, he doesn't act like family.

And ImNotYou1971 said:

Honestly…you both seem petty and immature.

She later shared this update:

I want to start off by saying thank u all so much for giving me advice. I decided NOT to go the wedding which made my parents and brother extremely angry. My parents called me and said how it is stupid how I skipped my brothers wedding because of something as small as the anger I had for the bride. I explained that it wasn't just that but the whole situation.

Between my brother grabbing me to the things that happened when we were younger. My parents has always misunderstood the situation and never truly tried to understand they just took his side. I told them it wasn't my fault and I wasn't going to be blamed for avoiding confrontation. They wouldn't listen and told me to come over for dinner so we can talk about this face to face.

I did go for the reason of They always thought logically about things I didn't think it would change. When I got there my brother the bride and my parents were there. I stayed because deep down I do feel bad for missing the wedding. They scowled me for missing it but also discussed to my brother how it made me feel.

He said that he didn't care how it made me feel and if I wanted to skip the wedding I could have sent a gift. I told him that tht wasn't the point at all and how hypocritical he sounds for not even giving me a gift on my birthday. He said a wedding and different and the bride got frustrated at decided to yell at me saying "u ruined our wedding. I don't understand how u could be so selfish"

I asked her how did I ruin there wedding by not even being there? Me and my parents both wanted an answer. She decided to say how I ghosted her all those years back and wanted nothing more to make me feel the same she did and wanted nothing to do with my brother.

I laughed in her face and told her how stupid and insecure she was for marrying my brother because of that and how I feel so bad that she spend her whole life getting back at me. I got up and left. A few days later my brother came to visit me and apologized. He said how dumb he was for marrying my bully and that they were getting a divorce. I hugged him and forgave him.

He gave me our mother's ring that he used to propose to her and said "you've wanted this for a while" he left said good luck. My gf was taking a shower and when she got out that's when I wanted to do it (we've been tg for 5 years) I proposed and she said yes and how I got the ring? I told her and she was rlly surprised and happy to have her out our lives forever now.