'AITA for not attending my sister's wedding because she didn't invite my partner?' 'I'm being selfish.'
"AITA for not attending my sister's wedding because she didn't invite my partner?"
So, my (29F) sister (27F) is getting married in a few months. We've always had a decent relationship, but we've never been super close. I’ve been with my partner (31M) for 4 years now, and we live together. My family knows him well, and he's come to many family gatherings over the years.
When I received my wedding invitation, I noticed it was only addressed to me. I asked my sister if my partner's invitation got lost in the mail, and she said that she didn't invite him because she wanted a small, intimate wedding with just close family and friends.
I pointed out that my partner is practically family and that other relatives are bringing their significant others. She replied that it was her wedding, and she gets to choose who attends.
I was hurt by this and told her that if my partner isn’t welcome, then I won't be attending either. She got upset, saying I’m being selfish and that I’m putting my relationship over our family.
My parents think I should just go to keep the peace, but I feel strongly about standing up for my partner and our relationship. AITA for refusing to go to my sister's wedding if my partner isn’t invited?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
itsgimartin said:
NAH. She gets to decide who she invites, you get to decide if you attend. I can't believe your family is expecting you to attend the wedding. You are being accused of being selfish because you want to attend a wedding with your partner. That is a real low bar.
poolbear88 said:
NTA. It's understandable to feel hurt that your long-term partner wasn't invited to your sister's wedding, especially when other relatives are bringing their significant others.
You addressed this with your sister, and her response didn't change your feelings. It's not selfish to stand up for your relationship and set boundaries about how you expect to be treated. Your decision to not attend without your partner is valid, even if it upsets your family. Do what feels right for you and your partner.
78october said:
NTA. She’s expecting you to come celebrate her relationship while disrespecting yours. She’s also not respecting that you have the right to RSVP no.
Worth-Season3645 said:
NTA…because, unless there is more to this story you are not telling, your partner has been part of the family for four years. How inviting them would change her small, intimate wedding, I am not understanding, especially when others get a plus one.
itsgimartin said:
NTA. Your partner is the love of your life and has been part of the family for 4 years. I would be hurt and upset too if I were you. It would be different if he was a recent BF, but 4 years is a long time.
isoliente said:
NTA. Unless you're leaving something out about why your sister doesn't want your partner there, this is pretty hypocritical. "Come to a party that's all about celebrating OUR love, while we disrespect yours." No thanks.