'AITA for not disclosing to my housemates that my family has money and refusing to pay more monthly?'
"AITA for not disclosing to my housemates that my family has money and refusing to pay more monthly?"
I (23F) live with seven other people, two girls and five boys (one of them is my boyfriend). We are all between 22-25. We started renting together three years ago when we were all in the same university and just kept doing it.
We split rent and utilities equally. We are all at least friendly with each other and regularly have parties/travel together, but we are not all that close. Recently, during a party, we were all a bit drunk and were talking about funny stories from our families and I commented that I studied in a very elite school in our city.
One of the boys, Jay (25), was very surprised because it is a very expensive school. He started asking me questions about the way I grew up and eventually just said "wow you are rich." I thought that was it and we kept having fun.
Well, the morning after, he started making all these jokes about me being rich and snobby, which I didn't mind, we tease each other all the time. But after like three days it started annoying people so one of the girls, Maria (24F), told him to cut it out because he was overdoing it.
This started an argument and eventually it came out that he was uncomfortable with the revelation that my parents had money. We started talking about it, (it was super awkward because it sucks having a serious conversation at breakfast), and he said that he truly felt betrayed because he thought we were all broke and that to make things fair I should have been making bigger contributions to the house funds.
I said that I understood he was upset, but that I couldn't really afford paying the amount he was suggesting (R$1800). He insisted and my boyfriend got involved and eventually he just left while saying I was a liar.
Well, my other six friends don't agree with him and think he's being a d, and now he's being kind of sidelined for the past week, but I can't help wondering if he's right. I never lied about how I grew up, but I knew that just the fact both my parents have a master's meant that I grew up better off than everyone else from this group...
And I kind of avoided commenting about it because I thought it was awkward. Most people knew, but apparently Jay and our other friend didn't. AITA for not paying more?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Intelligent-Panda-33 said:
NTA. Your parents may have money but that doesn't mean you do. You don't state if they're paying your rent so presumably you're all in the broke early 20s phase trying to figure it out and make it on your own.
quats555 said:
NTA. “Jay, you have more food than I do, give me some.” “Jay, your car is nicer than mine, you have to let me drive it.”
“Jay, your computer is faster than all of ours, here’s the new schedule of who gets to use it when. You get to use it between 7 and 10am weekdays.” Sound dumb? Because it is. He is not entitled to have more of what other people have more of than he does, just like the reverse is also true.
Sylas_23 said:
NTA - you are splitting things equally and you should be paying equal shares. These are housemates, and that's how the world works. Jay seems to have a chip on his shoulder, which is proven by the fact that everyone else agrees with you!
EmceeSuzy said:
The entire question is absurd. You are NTA. You pay your fair share. There is absolutely no reason that you should pay a larger share because your parents have more money than his parents do. That has nothing at all to do with your living expenses.
BedroomEducational94 said:
NTA - I live in the US, so maybe the culture surrounding this issue is different here (or maybe your housemate is an AH) but why would he just assume that your parents money is yours to spend? Even if your parents are wealthy, that doesn't automatically mean that YOU are wealthy. Sounds like he's just looking for a break no matter whose expense it comes at.
ed_lv said:
NTA. Your family is rich, you are not. You're paying as much as everyone else, and that guy can go pound sand.