'AITA for not forgiving my best friend after she told my husband I was cheating on him?'
"AITA for not forgiving my best friend after she told my husband I was cheating on him?"
mycutemia
I (30F) have been married to my husband, Alex (32M), for 5 years. We have a good, solid relationship and trust each other completely. I’ve always been very close with my best friend, Emily (29F), and we’ve been friends since high school. However, recently, our friendship has been put to the test.
A few months ago, I went on a business trip for a week, and during that time, I noticed Emily was acting a bit strange. She seemed distant and wouldn’t respond to my texts as quickly as usual, but I didn’t think much of it. I figured she was just busy with her own life.
When I came back from the trip, Alex confronted me about something that completely threw me off. He told me that Emily had contacted him while I was away and accused me of cheating on him.
She claimed that she "saw the way I was flirting with someone" at a work event and that I had been texting other guys in a way that seemed inappropriate. I was absolutely shocked and devastated.
There was no truth to what she said, and I couldn’t understand why Emily would tell Alex something like that. I’ve never once been unfaithful, and I had no idea where she got these ideas from.
I confronted Emily, and she admitted that she had seen me talking to a male colleague at the event, but she took everything out of context. She said she "didn’t like the way he was looking at me" and assumed something was going on.
I was furious. Emily had never said anything to me about her concerns, and instead, she went behind my back and accused me of cheating. I told her that I couldn’t trust her anymore and that I needed space. She apologized, but the damage was done. It felt like she completely betrayed me and violated my trust.
Now, some of our mutual friends are telling me that I should forgive Emily, saying that she was just looking out for me and that she was worried about my relationship. But I don’t feel like I can ever get past what she did.
I’ve tried to move on, but every time I think about it, I feel so hurt and betrayed. So, AITA for not forgiving my best friend after she told my husband I was cheating on him?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
FloMoJoeBlow
NTA. Something tells me Emily has the hots for OP’s husband.
External_Expert_2069
I think you’re onto something! And if she was really “looking out” for OP she would have had an actual conversation with her before going to her husband.
Thallannc
Emily is setting the stage for getting you outta the picture and getting a piece o' that Fine Alex Ass™. Do with that tidbit of info as you like.
MadameBananas
Funny how she said this to your husband while you were out of town. Seems Emily was hoping Alex would need her shoulder or other parts of her to comfort him. She's going after your husband. Get ahead of this now.
InvisibleInk978
This seems so random. What was your husband’s reaction? Did he believe you weren’t cheating? Why would your friends take her side? Why would saying you cheated means looking out for you?
Federal-Wolverine-52
NTA. If Emily was truly concerned about you, she would have pulled you aside and talked to you about what she perceived to be happening. The fact that she went to your husband, and your husband alone is shady as heck.
Either she is jealous of your marriage because she has a thing for your husband, or she's jealous of your husband and was trying to sabotage the relationship so you would go running to her for support. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who are not true friends.
LycheeGlow
NTA. Trust is crucial in friendships. Emily overstepped by making baseless claims without talking to you first. It's understandable if you're hurt and need space. Focus on rebuilding trust with your husband; real friends would support, not sabotage, your relationship. You deserve honesty and loyalty from those close to you.
RaptorOO7
NTA and your ex best friend burned the whole village down. She could have talked to you and made you aware of how the person was looking or acting around you. Instead she comes up with your cheating and goes to your husband when you’re NOT CHEATING. That is not something you can come back from.
pinkrosebliss
Emily's actions were harmful, and you’re justified in feeling hurt and betrayed. Trust doesn’t just bounce back it takes time and, in some cases, might not be fully repairable.
Ill-Fly-6303
NTA. If she was looking out for you, why did she bypass talking with you and go to your husband? I’m sorry, but Emily sounds like she’s jealous of either you and/or your marriage. She could’ve really caused drama within your marriage.
Couple of things I don’t play about and one of them is my husband and my marriage. Anyone trying to come between my union is seen as a threat and I can’t associate myself with people who causes and creates drama. Even if you forgave Emily, could you fully trust her again?