'AITA for moving in with my aunt cause my stepdad charged me rent after I turned 18?'
Turning 18 is a milestone for some people. You can legally be charged as an adult in a court of law, join the military and vote. Turning 18 signals a person's foray into young adulthood, and for some parents means kicking their child out.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a stepdad demands his stepson pay him rent, and his stepson refuses.
The stepson writes:
I had my 18th birthday three days ago. On the day after my birthday, my stepdad told me he wanted me to start paying rent to 'live in his house.' My stepdad is quite Christian and conservative.
I don’t expect to live rent-free forever, but I know my stepdad is coming from a spiteful place. He and my mom have two kids in nine years of marriage, I’m not his own, and it’s clear I’m a reminder that his wife was a non-virgin divorced woman before him, so, of course, I’m being treated like a guest, and my mum is allowing it because she thinks the sun shines out of his a**. He doesn’t need my money to pay rent, plus I don’t have much, and he wants $100 per month. We still have lots of time for this, but I bet his own kids won’t be paying rent while they’re in school.
My A-level exams (UK school system) start in mid-April and last until July. I’m doing STEM subjects and hoping to fulfill my offer for a medicine course at a good university. This means I'll have to be studying a lot, and if I have to get a job, it will be difficult to maintain the level of studying I need.
I’m literally moving out in September. So it feels vindictive, and it’s not like I’m unproductive. I’m trying to save the money I had left from my last job for when I move out, too, and paying my stepdad $800 when he doesn’t need it feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me and making my life harder for being born.
Basically, my aunt (mom's sister), who isn’t fond of him, said he was ridiculous and told me to come to live with her. Her house is an hour away, but my school is in the middle (30 minutes each way, if that makes sense). She said she has a guest room free, so I can save my money for uni. This benefits me the most, so I took her up on the offer.
My mother keeps crying that I’m leaving, so my stepdad is annoyed. We got into an argument where he said he was treating me like a tenant to prepare me for the real world, so I said, 'do tenants not have the right to leave?' Which annoyed him further. My stepdad says I'm hurting my mother and taking resources from my aunt because I'm 'too entitled' to pay rent. This is just what’s best for me. I said I’d visit. AITA?
little500HondaCBR says:
NTA (Not the A**hole). Actions meet consequences. Your stepdad tried to flex on you...and his power play backfired. Your mother may be crying, but she LET HIM DO IT. That house is half hers, and so is the decision to charge you rent. She is not blameless here. Your aunt's 'resources' are none of your stepdad's F'ing business.
OP, move out without another guilt pang, okay? Work hard to crush your exams, be super-considerate and make yourself very useful in your aunt's household (shovel the walk, do dishes, walk the dog, whatever is needed -- and if you don't know, ASK). Please don't come back to this house to visit your stepdad's home.
Your mom can darn well find her way to your aunt's house WITHOUT Mister Flex on her arm. God bless your aunt for sheltering you from stepdad and his nonsense! And don't feel obliged to invite him to your graduations, either.
Altruistic-Motor-833 says:
NTA. You’re not the one upsetting your mum. Your stepdad is. You’re just being pragmatic and finding a solution to the problem he caused. He’s a jerk for making you pay rent when you’re still at college (A levels are brutal).
Your mum is a jerk for letting him treat you badly and then being upset when you find a solution. Try not to fall out with your family, but ultimately you’ve got to do what’s best for you and your long-term goals.
Steelguitarlane says:
NTA. Stepdad is an a**, and your mom is pure evil for not standing up for you. There's an old saying, 'a life well lived is the best revenge.' Go forth and to hell with stepdad.
Tell your stepdad, 'be careful what you wish for.'