'AITA for not wanting to share food with a child?' 'It's not my responsibility.' UPDATED

"AITA for not wanting to share food with a child?"

I (22F) like to go on solo picnics on my own every now and then as a way of unwinding after work. Today i went to a well known park in my city where I packed a basket of food and a book to enjoy the last few hours of the sun before heading home.

As I was reading and enjoying my snacks i had a little girl come up to me a few times which i would acknowledge with a smile and then go back to reading my book, it came to the point where I would just ignore her when i sensed her coming because i wasn’t up for engaging in a conversation with anyone due to being drained from work.

After about the 6th time of her coming up to me, she sat down on my picnic mat and started eyeing the food in my basket. I looked around for her parents and i shortly see her mum coming up to me and apologising for her daughter disrupting me which I told her it was ok and carried on reading my book after taking her daughter back to the playground.

It wasn’t long till the next moment i knew little girl is back on my mat and finally tells me, “i like strawberries” pointing to the punnet inside my basket. I replied, “that’s nice, me too” without looking up from my book hoping her mum would come back again to take her away because i was getting a bit uncomfortable.

Another lady who the kid referred to as her aunt came up to us and was telling me what a nice little set up i had. I thanked her and thought she would take her niece away, but then I hear the kid telling her she wants some of my food.

The aunt then asks me if it would be ok for her niece to have some of my food. I politely told her i wasn’t comfortable in sharing my food due to personal preference and pointed out that there was a cafe nearby where they could purchase their own.

The aunt then calls me selfish and tells the niece that im a mean lady as if i was a young child. I told her that it’s unfortunate that she feels that way but I’m not obligated to feed her niece and asked her if she ever heard of schools teaching kids to not accept food from strangers before.

She said that this was a different case and that she was asking me to share and it wasn't like i poisoned it or offered to share with her niece without anyone’s knowledge.

I told her that i was sorry but I’m still not comfortable and started to pack up to leave, the mother came over as i was walking away and told her sister to leave me alone but the aunt kept yelling loudly that she hopes her niece wouldn't end up being as selfish as me and this was why i was picnicking on my own etc and caused the whole park to hear it and getting dirty looks from other parents who didn't know the context.

I came home and told my mum what happened as a light hearted story during dinner but she told me I should’ve just shared my food with the child even though she knows the reason why i don't like to share food in general, and that she, “didn’t raise me to be a selfish person” to the point i couldn’t have given her at least one strawberry.

I told her its not my responsibility to feed other people’s kids and that just because someone asks for something it doesn’t mean they will get it. Thinking about it now, i do feel like a bit of an ass cos it’s kinda petty and its not like i dislike children i just prefer not to interact with them. So, AITA?

EDIT 1: I do not fault the child what so ever, I understand it’s natural for some kids to just be friendly and curious but I was just uncomfortable that no one was keeping an eye on her especially since the sun was setting soon, and im just a stranger in the park trying to read in peace

EDIT 2: just wanted to note that the family did not look like they were in need or in any financial distress, in fact, they were well dressed in pretty high end brands that i recognize due to being in the local fashion industry, if it was a case of poverty/medical needs i would not have been so hesitant. However, even if it was a financial/poverty situation I would like to think that i still have the right to say no.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

CyclonicHavoc said:

This is just weird tbh. Those people should have been watching their damn kid and not have let them just dillydally about visiting complete strangers. They were totally negligent of what this child was doing, and when the little girl was begging you for food, they didn’t bother to teach her the principle that things that others have are not their own.

You went to the park to enjoy your own peace and solitude. You didn’t go to the park to provide food for all the starving children of the world. Her mother took her to the park, she could have bought her snacks before she even went there. That woman should have watched her kid. NTA.

Bobbsham said:

NTA. Don't give in to bullies, the aunt couldn't get her way so she decided to humiliate you. Your mother sounds like a "don't rock the boat" type.

Perhaps ask your mom why she chooses to side with strangers who humiliated and bullied you in public, instead of standing with her own child. The answer will be enlightening and guide your future relationship with her.

Summer_Dusk said:

NTA, the aunt asked for permission and you said no. Her problem if she didn't like the answer. She is the entitled AH here.

And GrandMalort said:

NTA, that's nuts, and as a parent I'd not allow that aunt to be alone with my child ever again. Who thinks teaching a child to beg from strangers is safe or ok?!

She later shared this update:

Hello everyone, thank you so much for reading and commenting on this post. I truly didn’t expect this to have such a response as it did but it’s nice to know that a majority of you think my actions were justified. Also, for further context the child was about 3-4 years old, well nourished and dressed in baby Seed & Burberry. Needless to say, i think she was grand.

I didn't mind as much her saying hi and floating around cos it is a public space, but once she started sitting down on my mat that was when i was like “uh can someone pls come collect their kid” had i been a grown man this would’ve probably gotten an entirely different response.

I had a few users PM me that I was stingy and that “adults should be nice to children”. I would like to clarify that I have nothing against kids and have worked jobs that involves taking care of them etc.

My current job is quite demanding and has a large social aspect to it so there are times where I am socially drained, the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone, much more strangers (Not that i have to justify this).

Anyway, thank you parents for shedding some perspective on this, I honestly feel like i don't know how to approach strangers/families on these kind of interactions as people are a lot more sensitive/entitled in the ways they/other people bring up/discipline their children.

Some of you think that I have a problem sticking up for myself, and I would like to clarify that I actually am pretty assertive and had the situation been escalated I would’ve made a bigger stance :)

It was just with this interaction, (& for the lack of a better way to phrase it) I couldn’t be bothered talking or confronting the parents at the beginning, thinking if i ignored the kid enough the problem would go away (lo and behold, i was wrong).

For future solo picnic outings, I will be sure to bring a bottle of grown up grape juice (& possibly a water spray bottle for negative disassociation like some of you suggested) as a way of implying to wandering eyes this is indeed a special big girl meal that they can have when they are older and financially self sufficient.

I also would like to encourage everyone to also take a moment and time for themselves and solo outings like this (at least for me) are normally peaceful and relaxing. Hope everyone has a great day ahead :)