Nursing student claps back at supervisor for making a comment about her posture. AITA?
"AITA for clapping back after my supervisor made a comment on my posture?"
I (30F) am a nursing student. Recently, while on clinical placement (when we go work in hospitals under experienced nurses to basically practice our skills), I had this conversation with one of my supervisors that is still playing on my mind.
For a bit of context, I have severe scoliosis (abnormal sideways curvature of the spine). I have an S-shaped curve, measuring 47° and 68°. Generally, they recommend surgery for curves above 40-45° (which I am on a wait list for). It's important to note that my curve is a lot worse than it appears externally.
If you're looking at my back without clothing, it's very apparent, but in clothing, less so. I also have an associated kyphosis (often called a hunchback), which is far more visually apparent. Neither of these conditions are caused by bad posture, they are structural defects within my spine that cause pain every day.
Now to the conversation: I was sitting doing some computer work when my supervisor casually told me "you have terrible posture." I was in quite a bit of pain, and I've been told this my whole life, so I admit my tone was probably more blunt than necessary when I replied, "I have a disability."
My supervisor scoffed and told me I didn't need to be an ahole about it. I think it's generally not cool to comment on someone's body, and I do get very sick of hearing people blame my pain on posture, which has nothing to do with it. So AITA for clapping back at my supervisor for telling me I had bad posture?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ok_Historian_646 said:
NTA. You shut down the ahole!! Your tone was necessary, especially being in the field you are in. Your supervisor should know there are many medical reasons poor posture.
I mean a simple, "Are you ok? You look like you could be in pain" would have been way more appropriate if they felt it necessary to address. I really hope your supervisor learned a lesson. That being said, their reaction to OP's statement leads me to believe that they are in the wrong field! Wheres the compassion?!?
peggingpinhead said:
NTA. that's some impressive deflection on his part, calling you the ahole after you pointed out that he was commenting on your disability. That's when a normal person takes the correction and goes "sorry my bad" then everyone moves on. But not him, he's special. I'll bet when he has a nasty fart he blames it on the nearest bystander and gets all indignant about it.
UnfairEntrance159 said:
NTA. I have scoliosis too, although it's less severe than yours. I sometimes get comments that I "sit funny", and when I tell them about my condition, they are chill about it. Your boss calling you asshole in a similar situation makes no sense.
edebby said:
NTA. So what, he expected you to lower your head and accept his amazing observation about your posture? Or did he expect you to thank him for pointing it out? That was IMO the best way to let him know that the posture he objects was due to disability and not something you could control. And talking about being sensitive lol, nothing you said make you sound like an AH to me.
SheepherderWeary3924 said:
NTA uninvited comments on your body are unacceptable, especially from a manager at work, and even more so when they are followed up by ableism.
Few-Product-9937 said:
NTA at all the supervisor shouldn’t make any personal comments about anyone on her staff especially in front of other staff members. What she said to you was very inappropriate. She knows nothing about you but made the decision that you don’t have a disability? WTF? She owes you an apology but being your supervisor you have to be careful. Good luck with the surgery.
RandomAho said:
NTA. You explained your posture and volunteered the information that you have a disability. If the supervisor mentions it negatively once more I would ask to register a grievance to be dealt with by the company's official process.