'AITA for opting out of my brother's wedding over food?'
"AITA for opting out of my brother's wedding over food?"
My brother (22) and his fiancé (22) are engaged to be married in less than 2 months. We are currently on a family vacation. The problem took place just the other day when we were eating lunch. For some backstory, I have always struggled with eating. I either eat too little or nothing at all, and I always keep track of my calories.
This got to the point where it became detrimental to my mental health. They both knew this about me. They’re both health-freaks and only eat stuff with no sugar and a high protein intake. For this lunch, they were sitting at the same table as me as well as my other two sisters (25 and 12).
We had just gotten our food and we all began eating. I ordered a lobster roll that came with a side of french fries and a cup of clam chowder. While we were eating they began calculating the total calories of my meal. They told me it was well over the amount of calories I should be eating in a day and told me that it was bad. I told them I didn’t want to eat anymore and pushed my food away from me.
I was visibly uncomfortable and my eldest sister took notice of that. She had tried to tell them to stop but they didn’t. I began to cry and excused myself from the table so I could calm down in the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom everyone had left the table and they went on with their day, except mine was ruined.
I had been doing my very best to not think about calories on this vacation so that I can finally eat 3 meals a day and not feel like shit the whole time. But because of them that was now ruined. A day has passed since then and the 3 of us have not spoken a word to each other. I refuse to talk to them until they can at least apologize to me. That’s all I want is for them to tell me they’re sorry.
They refuse to do it because they believe they did nothing wrong because they were just “speaking the truth.” Am I the ahole for not wanting to take part in their wedding anymore as a result?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Longjumping-Bet5293 said:
NTA. They can eat “healthy” all they want, but trying to comment on what you’re eating is absolutely insane. Also, low calorie ≠ healthy. You’d think they would know that if they’re going to be health freaks. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Next time, I would tell them to mind their business as it does not concern them with what and how you eat.
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA. You brother and future SIL don't understand (or don't care) that their words can be triggering and they did not respect that you have no need of them policing what you eat.
OkeyDokey654 said:
NTA. And this isn’t about food. If you refused to go to their wedding because you wanted lobster and they were serving chicken, it would be about food. But this is about them being a couple of cruel AHs.
ParsimoniousSalad said:
NTA. They calculated the freaking calories in your meal? WTF! What business of theirs is it what you eat? They sound awful. You don't need to celebrate them and that's your "truth."
Extreme_Highway_9614 said:
NTA that was a mean and I'd imagine triggering thing for you to go through. It's understandable that you wouldn't want to go. Also "just speaking the truth" does not justify hurting someone else. Its an ah statement to excuse obvious ah behavior.
They should suck it up and say sorry, old enough to get married, old enough to admit when you're wrong. Do they know thier ah behaviour is making you seriously consider not to attend thier wedding? That in and of itself should make them pause for thought, hopefully.
Disastrous-Nail-640 said:
NTA. Just because it’s truthful doesn’t mean they’re not also AHs. Both things can be true at the same time. What they said would be rude even without your history. Given your history, it was downright cruel. There is never a good reason to comment on what others are eating.