'AITA for uninviting my parents' friends from my wedding after they yelled at me?'

"AITAH for refusing to let my parents friends come to my wedding after they yelled at me the week before?"

I got married in October and it was the most perfect day ever, but a week before the wedding, my dad’s friends called and SCREAMED at me. They are event coordinators and my dad asked them to help with my rehearsal dinner. The week before the wedding and a couple of days before the rehearsal, they were going to the reception place to check it out.

I actually work at the place I was having my rehearsal but I wasn’t working that day, so I let them know ahead of time I wouldn’t be there. I told my step mom that if they really needed something they could call and I would try to get there, but I was doing SO much that day to prepare for the wedding.

I set it up ahead of time so my coworker could let them in and show them whatever they needed. I thought we were all good and so, I went on to get my stuff done (get my marriage license and last minute decor). Well, I guess we were not all good, because I get a call from one of them and it was the one the worst experiences ever.

As soon as I answer he is already yelling, saying “you know, the least you could do is show up for people that are trying to help you. You didn’t even invite us to the wedding!” (I did very much invite them). I was shocked and actually thought he was joking so I started laughing and asked, “um…what??” He then continued to just scream super ugly things to me.

I started shaking and crying really bad, just in complete shock over the situation. He would have kept going and going but I cut him off and said, “that’s enough, you don’t get to talk to me like this.” And I hung up. I then had a complete breakdown. I was shaking and crying and cussing. My husband just grabbed me and hugged me until I calmed down.

I called my step mom and told her what happened and they actually called her too and yelled at her! I told her that they were not allowed anywhere near the rehearsal dinner or my wedding, and that I actually don’t ever want to speak to them again. She completely agreed and my dad called them once he found out and told them they needed to apologize to me immediately.

They both sent a text message to me with a half $$ed apology, basically just justifying their actions. I still don’t really know what happened, but apparently they thought I would be there that day and were mad I “stood them up”. I guess that communication could have been better but I never told them I would be there. Plus, the coworker was there and showed them EVERYTHING AND MORE.

My dad and step mom told me that they still are going to be friends with them, which kind of stings but I get it. But am I the a$$hole for uninviting these people to my wedding after they yelled at me a week before??

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Specialist-Top-406 said:

The thing about a wedding is it’s no one else’s but you and your partners. So you can do whatever you want to enjoy your day as you wish . People get way too entitled about their involvement and their lives. I fully think plus ones are not necessary, because you’re paying money for this day, why pay for someone you don’t know.

People who ask to bring kids or animals, it’s their responsibility to organise their lives if they want to come. We don’t walk into peoples homes and apply our own rules, we accommodate and respect the rules of the people who’s home we are in. Same goes for a wedding, it’s your day, your money, your decision.

Recent-War9786 said:

NTA- they should be embarrassed for even thinking they could come after treating you that way. You work there and set them up to be taken care of by your coworker. It’s not like you asked them to meet at a random place and no one showed up to speak with them at all.

If they were helping with the rehearsal wouldn’t they have asked you or your dad about the wedding date prior to the meet up? Even if they weren’t aware of the invite I think it’s tacky to not only ask for one but scream at them demanding one. 😳

OP responded:

I sent them a save the date and an invite! I don’t know what they were talking about

leftytrash161 said:

They're still going to be friends with them??? If my "friend" spoke to my child that way they'd be lucky to not get knocked out.

lilyofthevalley2659 said:

Your step mom and dad must be desperate for friends. I would never stay friends with someone who did that to my child

And CmonNowM8 said:

like who yells at someone before their wedding n expects to still come?? u did the right thing protecting ur peace.

rockmusicsavesmymind asked:

What were they supposed to be doing at the rehearsal place?? You don't come through clear on what you are talking about. So much confusion on your end.....

And OP responded:

Sorry for the confusion! So I work at bass pro and the rehearsal dinner was very low key and in a restaurant that isn’t used anymore in the back of the store. Sounds weird, but we met at work and that place was free and available. They are my dad’s friends and have experience in event coordinating. When my dad took over planning the rehearsal dinner, THEY offered to help him since they know how it works.

So no, they were not getting paid, THEY offered to do this. They had been to the store multiple times before with me and my dad and I showed them around and told them what I wanted MONTHS before the rehearsal dinner. This time, they were going again to see where they were going to set up the food warmers.

Again, I told them I couldn’t be there that day but I set it up for my coworker to meet them there and show them whatever they needed and HE DID. They called me on their way home and blew up at me for not being there, even though I told them I couldn’t be there.

They also knew they were invited. I sent a save the date and a virtual invite AND we constantly talked about it, so they knew they were coming. There honestly isn’t anything else to this story. I’m just as confused as to why they got so mad at me. Maybe my dad told them I would be there or something, but I know I told them I wouldn’t be there so I don’t know what got lost.

We'll keep you posted if there are any further updates!