'AITA for not rehiring my nanny after she quit to take maternity leave?'
"AITA for not rehiring my nanny after she quit to take maternity leave?"
Our nanny is expecting us to rehire her after she took maternity leave. However there was a misunderstanding because the way she worded it each time led me to believe she was quitting.
She would say things like she was “going to have to leave to take care of her baby” or “she was planning not to work after having her baby” not “take time off to take care of her baby” or “take a break to take care of her baby."
She ended up having her baby prematurely and told me she had to stop working earlier than she expected. Because of this we were a bit caught off guard for childcare as we had expected a little more time to find a new nanny. In the end we ended up putting our daughter in daycare.
Our daughter ended up liking it, so thought it worked out well enough, but now the nanny has called about coming back. We were confused and said we thought she quit.
She saying that she just meant she was taking maternity leave, not that she quit. I feel like if she had meant just a break for maternity she would have clarified when she planned to come back.
The nanny says she was expecting to have her job there when she was ready to come back to work and doesn’t know what else to do because she doesn’t have anything else lined up. Originally when we hired her we had told her we were going to need a nanny until our daughter started grade school, which is still two years away.
So she was expecting to still have a job for another two years. However, we really don’t need a nanny anymore. Our daughter is doing very well in daycare and we feel like it’s better for her because she gets to socialize more and she’s made friends.
Edit. There are no issues with parental laws in this situation. She is a native English speaker.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SnooWords4839 said:
NTA - Offer her a recommendation letter and wish her well.
Spike-2021 said:
NTAH. If she wasn't clear (and it sure sounds like she wasn't!), your assumption was the one anyone would make. If she wanted "maternity leave," as you said, she should have worded it as such and given you a target date of her planned return. If you've nothing in writing (a contract) then you are clear.
knittingfruit said:
NTA. I'm wondering if this is less of a miscommunication on her part and more she thought she wasn't going to come back and then changed her mind? The language OP is describing is very definite.
rojita369 said:
NTA. This sounds like a her problem. She probably was intending to quit, but has since realized she cannot, so she’s trying to lay the blame on you.
Responsible_Wolf5658 said:
NTA. Based on how it was worded it definitely sounded like she was leaving. Especially since she didn't say "and I don't know when I will be ready to come back" or something of that nature. It's possible she thought she would be able to swing not working, and when she realized that she just tried to come back.
FlipRoot said:
NTA. You found a better fit for your child. Tell her you can give her a letter of recommendation and you wish her the best but you found a better fit for your situation.
Honestly it’s good you put your child in daycare because it’s reliable child care. The nanny having a newborn leaves room For her to call out a lot of her baby is sick, has appointments etc.
FriendlyMum said:
NTA she’s quit and now changing the narrative. Probably realised she still needs to pay bills and eat after her baby is born, and that she needs to earn income to do that. Possibly tried other jobs and realised how good it was with you.
Now she’s trying to manipulate you back into a job. Like she immediately tried to make it your problem with “what am I going to do’ etc. it’s not your problem.
She also may have heard your child is at a child care instead of hiring a whole new nanny replacement and added this, seeing as she’s not officially replaced by another person.
That adds to her perception you were holding the job or whatever. Write a reference and send it to her and close the book on this chapter. Your child is thriving. That’s your priority.