Pregnant woman scolds MIL 'like a child' for touching her. AITA?
Respecting the personal space of others is a lesson that many children are able to grasp in preschool, but there seems to be a glitch that occurs when a woman is pregnant...
Ask permission before you decide to rub someone's stomach, people! Not everyone wants your hands rubbing their abdomen which contains their unborn child in a very intimate manner.
So, when a conflicted pregnant woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' for her behavior toward her mother-in-law, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
"AITA for talking to my mother-in-law like a kid when she touched my belly?"
My husband and I are expecting our first baby (yei!), we've have some ups and downs with his parents because they don't understand boundaries, but overall it's been really good.
For some context, I (24F) come from an abusive home and I can't stand being touched, before getting pregnant this wasn't a problem with my in-laws, but now that I'm carrying a baby, it's been awful with my MIL and my SIL because they think they can touch my belly whenever they want to.
Both my husband and I have talked to them, and said that while I would rather they don't touch me at all, I can understand this is a big thing as a family, so I would simply like being asked instead of just feeling a hand at random times, but they rarely do it, so I just move when they touch me.
Now, onto the subject, a week ago my best friend threw me a baby shower and I invited my in-laws and since I don't have any blood family left, we let them invite 10 more people which included aunts-cousins and my husband's grandparents.
It was an overall lovely moment, but at one time, I was sitting eating cake while my MIL talked with my FIL's sister, and while telling her something about the baby, she put her hand in my belly and idk, I just didn't like it.
So I took her hand, removed it and said ''No, no, you know I've told you not to touch without asking first. You know how to ask first, do you? It's easy!'' with the most condescending voice I had. Both my MIL and my FIL's sister looked at me shocked, and then my FIL's sister laughed but my MIL got red in the face.
When it was done, my MIL approached me and said that what I did wasn't nice and she just ''slipped'' so I didn't had to treat her like a kid. I just smiled and said that she touching me after being asked a million times not to was a kid behavior and I just called her out on that.
She left, very sad, and when we got home, my FIL called my husband and said he would love for both of us to apologize to each other, but I said no. So he called me an AH.
Considering this woman has warned her mother-in-law many times and she has continued to ignore her wishes, using a condescending tone wasn't the word way she could've defended herself...
Yes, it is unfortunately common for people to feel entitled to touching pregnant woman without permission, but one of two slip-ups is forgivable. This mother-in-law was repeatedly told that being touched is a trigger for her daughter-in-law and she continued to disrespect that. Now you're in a little 'time out,' mother-in-law!
Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this family drama. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
Melmoth_Milton said:
NTA. I hate being touched. Everyone thinks being pregnant makes you public property. Stand your ground, enforce your boundaries, and tell her off every time.
Whit3W0lf said:
NTA. Sometimes people don't understand when you ask nicely. My friend grabbed a strangers boob when the stranger touched her belly. The stranger was shocked and my friend said 'oh I thought we were grabbing each other's bodies, my bad!'
puppyfarts99 said:
NTA The proper response from your MIL would have been, 'I'm so sorry, OP. You're right. You've been very clear about this and I let it slip my mind. I'll remember to ask permission before touching you in the future. Please forgive me.' There, done and dusted. But instead, she chose to be offended.
mamabear131 said:
NTA. I was far more dramatic when I was pregnant. I wore a shirt that said “You can touch my belly if I can punch your face.”
BriefHorror said:
'Not touching another person is a thing you do all the time. I won't come see any of you unless you can manage to do something you do every day and something you've done since meeting me.' NTA
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman wasn't at all wrong to scold her mother-in-law like a toddler, but if she isn't respecting her boundaries during pregnancy she should be prepared for that pattern to continue.