Pregnant woman shares horrifying saga of her malicious MIL. AITA? PART 3 OF 3 PART STORY; UPDATED 4X
When this woman looks back on her experience with her MIL months later, she tells the internet:
Here is the last installment of my MIL saga, it's all been too much:
Link to Part 1 of Story
Link to Part 2 of Story
Mulling over this memory, I'm mad at myself for just taking it. I always just took it, I wanted to be a good DIL. My mom is a great MIL and has close, mutually respectful relationships with her DILs.
I thought there was something wrong with me because Magda was so terrible. Even when my mother, sisters, and SILs tried to convince me that it wasn't me, I still thought it was me.
When DH and I met, we hit it off instantly. We closed on our first house 14 months to the day after we met. It was ridiculous. I was madly in love with him so I wanted to give his parents a piece of my art for their upcoming big anniversary party.
A lot of you are arty folks, giving your handicrafts says a lot about how much you care for that person. I painted a 5'x7' portrait of them in an English garden setting.
My idea of a large formal portrait of Magda and FIL in oil paints was very positively received by DH and BILs. They gave me lots of great style input and over the course of six months I paint the damn thing. I was in constant communication with her interior decorator too, I wanted it to be perfect.
I bought outrageously expensive pigments and made my own oil paints. I bought high end canvas imported from India. I spent most of my free time working on it. Being obsessed with Pre Rafaelite imagery, I painted a highly detailed and lifelike portrait. This project consumed me, DH encouraged it because it was something that Magda would love.
When I show the interior decorator the finished product, he loves it. BILs and their wives love it, every is happy. BILs and DH pitch in and buy an ornate frame and it gets hung up in a foyer.
I am a professional artist and was for many years before I met Magda. Painting is my side art while illustration and graphic design are my main art. I have post graduate education in fine art and art history. I still do commissions for this interior decorator.
We get together, unveil it to Magda, and she was impressed until the decorator told her i painted it. Her face changes in a flash, asking why they would think this would be an appropriate gift, this painting is tacky schlock garbage.
I get intensely nauseous, I had put my everything into the piece and she said it looked like a gaudy knockoff from a hotel conference room art show. The room starts spinning and I go outside to the patio to collect myself but just vomited in the planter.
DH's niece storms out of the house with my purse cursing about disrespect and tells me to get in the car cause she can't stand this shit anymore. She drove me back to the condo we were staying in.
I'm ugly crying while she's ranting about being in a family of beautiful assholes. When we get to the condo, I just went to bed, I had a headache from intense crying.
DH rugswept this so hard, he wouldn't talk about what happened. We distracted ourselves with work projects. DH brought it up in counseling and all that hurt came back. He talked about the shame he felt when oldest big kid asked if Magda liked the painting and he lied and said it got broken on the way.
This period of time is when niece went NC with Magda. She was living on the east coast, going to the anniversary party was her last ditch effort to have a relationship with Magda and FIL.
This niece had it rough because she is an exact physical copy of Magda and didn't want to be Magda's clone. They had a huge blowup after the party. Niece took the painting from Magda and went home to New Jersey. She still has it. I'm glad niece took it instead of Magda throwing it away. I still consider it the best painting I've ever done.
There is no point to this little story. I'm just pissed about the painting again.
UPDATE 1 OF PART 3:
Magda's sent us an email with several of instagramed photos from the kids' accountattached. Magda would like to meet her grandchild for 10 minutes while supervised by a third party of my choosing. Magda is the baby's grandmother, it is cruel to deprive her of this relationship. Contact information was provided. I forwarded the letter to our lawyer. Don't stop believing, Magda.
UPDATE 2 OF PART 3:
This is my stream of consciousness because I can't talk to people in my real life because they just don't fg get it. 4/20 is hard for me. I am a California pothead, the worst day of my life happened to fall on 4/20.
I was in a car accident that killed my fiance and unborn daughter (32 weeks). The guy who hit us didn't end up doing any jail time because life is grossly unjust. I'm a ball of emotions right now.
If you go through my posting history, you can follow her total meltdown. Even though everyone says I've been a badass, I still feel like a spineless coward for letting her microagress for so long.
The PPD struggle is fg real. I wanted a baby for so long and when I got pregnant I was so fg happy until Magda tried to take over. When I wouldn't let her take over, she flips out and ruins my fg life.
My side of the family is really fg pissed at me because my psycho, rich as fuck MIL has turned her harassment to my family members. My parents and siblings are understanding, but extended family not so much. Me and my family (me, husband, kids) are not welcome at a lot of family functions because of what Magda has done.
I know she is behind an ICE raid at the body shop my cousins works at. My cousin, his brother-in-law, and a couple of other guys where arrested and being held in a detention center. They are undocumented so they will be deported. One of his coworkers is from Honduras, he will likely be murdered when he gets back.
My sister is an ICU nurse in a major hospital. A flurry of detailed, serious allegations got my sister put on a 6-month administrative leave. On the outside, paid leave doesn't sound so bad. But not knowing if you are getting fired the next day with a permanent stain on your career is terrifying.
The health department and and the organized crime sheriff team raided my brother's tattoo shop. They destroyed thousands of dollars of equipment and supplies. One of his employees was detained because he shared a (really common) name, birthdate and was similar sized to a man wanted for sexually assaulting a toddler.
Another cousin's husband got arrested because of a really old bench warrant. The tattoo he was getting when the raid happened got infected with MRSA when he was in jail, he almost died.
She donates to xenophobic think tanks in my name. Many different family members has CPS visits and visits by cops who deal with organized crime. It really hurts to be frozen out. I can understand why, my psycho MIL has torn families apart and has sentenced a man to death.
I don't know what to do. I love my family, but I really miss my departed fiance. His mom is a nice person who is a great MIL to her DILs. She brought me a pan of enchiladas after I had my baby last year.
My oldest' son's girlfriend just bought him a bottle of Dior Eau Savage (she wanted him to wear 'grown man colonge' instead of Axe). I wanted to collapse in a pile of sadness because I bought it for departed fiance and it was his everyday scent. Catching that whiff unexpectedly hit me with the overwhelming sad feeling.
I don't know if I can deal with him wearing that colonge, but I also feel bad telling him not to wear it. His girlfriend worked hard to earn that money to buy him expensive cologne. I don't want my kids to have to deal with baggage that doesn't belong to them. i love you guys. thanks for letting me ramble.
UPDATE 3 OF PART 3:
That's pretty much it. She passed away in the most Magda MIL way possible. She drowned in her bathtub because she was drunk and on pills. GODDAMNIT.
Husband told me her favorite thing to when he was a kid was to have a temper tantrum, then hole up in her bathroom for hours popping pills, smoking cigarettes, and drinking champagne. She would cry while cursing FIL and throw things at domestic staff. This happened a couple times per month.
We were informed this morning. It's nice to live in the country now, husband was on a long hike around our property because he wanted to be alone. He looked offended when i chuckled nervously when he said "I need time to be alone, but not suicidal."
The BILs want to have a 'family meeting' and Husband refuses. All of the adult grandchildren except the golden made it clear they would not attend funeral services. They are also collectively NC with their parents.
At this point, all of us lurk here and RBN so we're all about the mutually loving and respectful family relationships. This is great, Madga is dead and we're NC with all the shitty people. Husband's family, outside of his parents and siblings, are nice people and I enjoy spending time with them.
The kids seem unbothered right now. When we broke the news, the first thing out of my oldest was "Are we required to attend the funeral?" None of them wanted to go. So there's that. School just started and they're all busy. I shouldn't rejoice for someone dying, but I can't lie, I am relieved.
UPDATE 4 OF PART 3:
The holidays are over, we've gone back to our house in the mountains, things are settling down. We've been home one day when it comes:
A full truck load (from a 28ft box truck) of Magda's shit with a 5 page, double sided rambling letter of nonsense. It's her clothes, shoes, jewlery scarves, gowns, everything.
Of course Magda sends me a truckload of clothes that don't fit me. Of course she rambles for 5 pages of double sided, single spaced, tiny font, bullshit. She outlines her continued hate of me, acknowledged I am US born with a graduate degree and a legitimate art career and admits that DH isn't FILs (old news, FIL told husband in college).
The topper, is why she left me these clothes. Her DILs wanted these clothes but they didn't do enough for Magda in her declining age. She will leave these clothes to my daughter because i have an art education and will appropriately appreciate all the vintage couture.
This provokes a deep revulsion inside of me. She has been dead long enough where her formal headstone is up and she still manages to f with me.
I called up the auction house and they told me the house sold and they are selling off the stuff from the house. If I didn't want the items, they would be happy to sell it off for me for a commission, Magda had a good eye for fashion, the collection she curated is pretty good which makes me more mad.
F you Magda for spite sending me this truckload of beautiful clothes i can't wear. I have stupid rich people problems.
This truckload of fancy clothes has made me cry angry, frustrated tears. When I try to talk to the normal people I know, they're just dazzled by the glittery material possessions. I'm going to just send this shit back down to LA and let my cousins rummage through it, then donate the rest.
When I run my hands through the box of silk scarves, the physical sensation of fine silk on my hands is nice, but it smells like Magda and it's then that nice silk feeling on me hands feels gross. She ruined Chanel no5 and Jean Nate forever for me.
i swear to god, If I end up choking on the baby in the rosca de reyes cake tomorrow, I don't know if I'll laugh or cry. I'm going to try and finished my frustration crying now while im in my truck at the bottom of the driveway.
I use these posts as a vent. When I feel my resolve start to waiver, i reread my posts and then remember why things are the way they are. i'm just emotionally rambling. you have been a great emotional support.
Edit: I know I can donate them and blah blah blah. My frustration is that it's another Magda thing I have to deal with. I have to take the time to call the auction house, coordinate shipping, spend brain power on her stuff. It pisses me off because I just want to be done with her.