Pregnant woman snaps at husband's entitled 'work wife,' 'she won't stop calling.' AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for telling my husband's entitled wannabe 'work wife' to f off after she told me I was trying to kill my unborn child?"
For content I (30F) and my husband (30M) are having a baby I’m 8 an a half months pregnant currently so I am not working for obvious reasons. But in my job I earn significantly more than my husband.
My husband works at a small company and I really get on with most of his co workers apart from one his “work wife” (24F) I put work wife in quotes as he does not call her this despite her desperately trying to get this title. She has degraded me to him before her main complaint being (when I was working) I work too much and am clearly trying to emasculate him.
Which he very quickly shut down. Now I’m pregnant and not working she’s voiced concern to him that I “look to thin for a pregnant woman” (I am a healthy weight) she’s just a larger women and I assume while not trying to be to egotistical that she felt a bit jealous probably hoping that I would get bigger then her during pregnancy. And her other concern being that I’m too old to be pregnant.
She’s done both of these in creepy subtle ways as to not look like the outright bad guy. Anyway on to the incident my husband’s boss was having a garden party to which I was invited during this event my husband was having a glass of gin and tonic (one of my favourite drinks) he remarked to me that it was particularly good I took his glass to take a small sip.
I could see “work wife’s” beady eyes on me as I handed the glass back. She then came rushing up to us to tell me about the dangers of fetal alcohol syndrome I explained I just had a small sip and it’s really no harm at all.
But this wasn’t enough for her to just leave it she continued to go on about how “worried” she is to which my husband defended me repeating that I only had a tiny bit and there really is no harm there. She seemed to be offended by this response and turned to me and said if I want to kill my baby and my husband and those in ear shot where stunned by this.
Before I could think about what to do, I instantly told her to f off and mind her own business luckily no one heard and she sort of just looked uncomfortable and left shortly afterwards.
Following this very mild response in my opinion and in the opinion of my husband and others I’ve told she has sent my husband 7 emails calling me and him every name imaginable tried to call 40+ times leaving a variety of insane voicemails. My husband has reported this to HR and she resigned shortly after.
Despite this she won’t stop calling and leaving abusive messages we’ve tried blocking her, but she just makes new account. Her persistence makes me worried for her mental wellbeing and I feel like a bit of an ahole for pushing this clearly disturbed women over the edge AITA?
Edit- to clarify this post is not AITA for having a sip of watered down gin and tonic. I respect different people having different opinions but no child has ever gotten FAS from a sip of a not very strong drink. I probably consumed the same amount of alcohol in that sip as I do when I accidentally swallow a bit of my mouth wash
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
hikergirl26 said:
NTA. Sounds like she wanted to be more than a "work wife." Unfortunately you may have to take a restraining order out on her. You did nothing out of line and could have no way of knowing she was about to become so crazy. You have actually shown restraint. Good luck!
BeMandalorTomad said:
She is full on psychotic. NTA. I was expecting your husband to be less supportive of your position but I’m really pleased to hear his response. Work wife resigned from her job and got fired.
According_Row_9497 said:
NTA First of all, for anyone who might be wondering: there's science backing up that a single sip of alcohol is not going to harm you or the baby. Secondly, this girl clearly wanted to get with your husband and was completely out of line. You were just defending yourself. Thirdly, at this point she is harassing you and you should file a police report
WhyCommentQueasy said:
NTA, document this behavior and consider whether you should apply for a protective order.
Most-Avocado-5928 said:
NTA. At all. Sounds like she is obsessed with your husband and I would consider taking out a restraining order and seeking legal action if this continues. She is unfortunately obviously very sick, but that is neither of your responsibility. Congrats on the pregnancy, I wish you all beautiful happy healthy lives!
Otherwise_Degree_729 said:
NTA. Lady is crazy. Forcing work wife/ work husband makes me so uncomfortable. Shouldn’t be a thing even for single people let alone married ones. Makes people think they can overstep boundaries. Insulting you to your husband other huge red flag that should have been reported.
You’re 30 years old. How the f is that old to have children? I would save every text she sends. Send her a cease and desist letter, then report to the police if she keeps harassing you.
UPDATE:
I am going to file a report tomorrow to the relevant authorities and both me and my husband will be changing our numbers. I do not believe this woman is any real danger to anyone but herself and would like her to be sectioned in some way to get the mental health treatment that she needs.
Also thank you all for the supportive comments as I felt a bit overwhelmed by the situation and me and husband were a bit lost and unsure on what exactly to do. Also to clear a small point up she didn’t really resign it’s sort of a formality not sure if this is specific to the uk that you don’t get fired you get asked to leave then you have to resign.