Sibling rivalry turns cruel as brother destroys cancer survivor sister’s prosthetic leg. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for accepting a prosthetic leg after cancer even though my brother thinks its unfair and my mum agrees with him?"
I (18F) had cancer. Bone cancer. It started in my thigh and spread fast. The only way to stop it was to amputate above the knee. I was 16 when I lost my leg. I’m 18 now, and just barely putting myself back together.
The last two years have been a whirlwind of chemo, pain, isolation, and feeling like I was just… fading. I missed most of school. Missed friends. Missed being a teenager. And when it was all over, I was left with a stump, a pile of trauma, and no real plan for how to feel human again.
The doctors said I was a candidate for a high-functioning prosthetic — a bionic leg. It wasn’t just cosmetic. It would give me a shot at walking properly again, going to uni on my own, even being able to do stairs without crawling. It’s expensive, though. The NHS covered some, but not all.
That’s when my mum stepped in. She said we could use part of a savings fund she’d kept for “emergencies” and future needs — some of which was apparently meant for my little brother (11M). He’s neurodivergent, and has always needed a bit more help. He’s smart and sweet, but also very emotionally intense. My mum calls him her “sunbeam,” and honestly, the house has revolved around him my entire life.
She helped me get the prosthetic. It changed everything. For the first time since the amputation, I could walk more than a few meters without crutches or collapsing from exhaustion. It’s not perfect, but it’s given me a future.
Now here’s where things went sideways. Last week, my little brother had what my mum calls a “bad emotional day.” He told her he was sad because “everyone paid attention to me” and “I got a robot leg and he didn’t get anything.” He said it was “unfair” that I got something “cool” and expensive when he didn’t.
Instead of explaining the obvious — that I lost a leg, that this wasn’t a gift, that it wasn’t about fair — my mum sat me down and said maybe she “shouldn’t have spent so much on me without thinking of how it might affect him emotionally.”
I didn’t know what to say. She said she regrets not waiting until he was “old enough to understand.” That “he’s very sensitive,” and that I need to “try and see it from his side.”
And now I feel like the villain. For surviving. For walking again. For not being smaller, quieter, easier to ignore. I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to lose my leg. I didn’t ask for her money. I didn’t ask to be born into a family where even surviving cancer somehow feels like a competition I was supposed to lose.
So, AITA for accepting a bionic leg, knowing it came from a fund my mum also set aside for my younger brother — and knowing he’s hurt by it? Because right now, I feel like I’m being punished for not dying.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. Your mom is though for not talking to your little brother about why you DESERVE the leg. What isn’t fair is that you got cancer, lost your leg, and missed out on years of your life. If you’re in the UK, get away from your Mom asap, see what programs are available to you for education, trade school, housing, etc.
NTA, your mom is turning your brother into Sheldon Cooper and it’s not okay, what is going to happen once he hits the adult world and has no idea how to cope when things don’t go his way? She’s not going to live forever to manipulate things so that they go his way, she also cannot expect the world to bend for him.
NTA Your mother is insane. You lost your leg. Short of losing a limb himself, there is nothing your brother could suffer to compare. Your prosthetic isn’t some expensive toy, it’s a medical device that allows you to walk, which you otherwise would not be able to do. Ask your brother if he wants to trade—he can have the “bionic” leg, provided he agrees to have his own leg surgically removed.
Strange-Ostrich-917 (OP)
i did and he started crying i cant stop laughing.
Mom failed to teach empathy. Being able to put oneself into someone else's shoes is not easy, especially when the other only has one foot. JT Blake brings up a very good point, enlightening brother about what it's like in OP's perspective is definitely called for here, it's something he needs to learn long before he's legally an adult.
Four days later, the OP returned with an update.
Hi again. I wasn’t planning on posting a full update, but honestly... I don’t even know how to process what just happened, and I need to get it out somewhere. Yesterday I came home from work. (I do a few shifts a week at a local café to save for uni.)
I had my prosthetic charging in my room, on its dock like I always do — it's super delicate while charging because the joints are exposed and the internal circuits are vulnerable.
I found my brother in my room. He had unplugged the charger. He was trying to “make it move” manually — bending the knee joint, yanking the ankle around to "see if it would walk on its own." I yelled at him to stop — but it was too late.
The main knee motor made this awful grinding sound and then the whole leg sagged like a broken doll. He dropped it and ran downstairs crying. I just stood there holding the pieces. The leg is dead. Totally dead.
Those things aren't built for rough handling — they're expensive, sensitive, custom-built to match my body. It’s not something you can fix at a random shop. It has to go back to the manufacturer. Repairs cost thousands. Even assuming it's repairable, it’ll take months.
I went to my mum absolutely shattered, thinking at least this she’d take seriously. She cried, hugged my brother, and said, "He didn’t mean it. He’s just curious." Then she told me, "You need to be more understanding. He’s only 11. It’s not like he knew how important it was."
I honestly don't remember much after that. I just felt myself shutting down. No apology. No promise to help fix it. No acknowledgment that without that leg, I can’t walk more than a few meters without pain. That I can’t go to work. That I can’t go to uni like this. That I’m being dragged back to being helpless because a kid wanted to play with my body.
It was in my room. Charging. In my private space. Now I’m trapped. I can’t afford repairs on my own. The grant money is long gone. Insurance might cover some of it — maybe — but the deductible is massive. And my mum made it very, very clear she won't be helping again.
I don’t even know what to do. I feel invisible. Disposable. Like the only acceptable version of me is the one who quietly disappears into the background so her "sunbeam" can shine.
I survived cancer. I lost my leg. I fought to be able to stand on my own again. And now it’s broken because an 11-year-old thought it looked fun, and no one cares. So, I guess that's my update.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
I’m gonna say all that needs to be said. You’re a legal adult, it’s time to take legal action.
Make a go fund me page. Tell your story and share it everywhere. I'm betting that you'll end up with more than enough to fix it and go.to school. And don't let your mother have one red cent!!!! Good luck baby. You can do it. Updateme.
Legally, she's required to pay because her child broke it, even though she's your mom, that's destruction of property, it was put up in a safe place. Unfortunately, getting her to pay will be very hard.
I don't know if it would make it worse, but if you were to somehow make a post publicly asking if anybody had any ideas. And/or help not necessarily put them in a bad negative light, but bring light to the situation. Maybe the actions on your mother, we'll be for her to correct the way he acts. But unfortunately, I don't see it happening.
If the prosthetic was part-funded by the NHS they have vested interest in its function. It's also likely ensured as a piece of valuable medical equipment. If not - go to the courts. A disabled 18 year old who lost her leg to cancer at 16 being deprived of her liberty because of her mother's selfishness is a pretty good fire under a judge's butt.
Look into local charities supporting amputees. You can often find these through finding the hospital that did your op and asking for contact details for support groups and resources.
Tell every damn adult yo know. All of them. Each and every relative, every parent of a friend, and GET A LAWYER. This is a very open-and-shut case. Your parents should have housing/renters insurance that will cover the replacement cost. I'm assuming you are on some sort of insurance plan, you mentioned that? call them and sic them on your parents.
It might be more insured than you think. But, you need courts for this. This isn't "my little brother knocked over the Lego Deathstar I spent 2 months putting together." This is more along the lines of "My brother stole my car and wrecked it." It's major. And legally, your parents are liable.
Tell every damn adult out there what happened. There's a very non-zero chance that your parents will get read the riot act and shamed into actually parenting, and an equally non-zero chance you'll end up moving in with an aunt or uncle or friend until you're able to go to college.
This is not small, it is not minor. The law is on your side. I pay taxes to support a judicial system, please use it. Report the theft and vandalism to the police, immediately.