'Random creep has been keeping me from enjoying my hobby out in public.' MAJOR UPDATE

Strangers can be the best of us, but they can also be the worst of us.

"Random creep has been keeping me from enjoying my hobby out in public."

I recently picked up a new hobby of wildlife photography and have been enjoying it a lot. I only get to do it on the weekends due to my work schedule and being a parent to a teen- so the days I get to go are my savior. I like to go to a certain park, sit, enjoy the solitude and just watch and take pics. A lot of photographers frequent this park and I’ve spoken with them and everyone is super friendly- except one dude.

Every spot I go to- his dumb car parks next to me and he just sits there. He will say a few words here and there but mainly, he just sits in silence watching me. He’s a photographer also. I don’t get the sense he’s trying to k*ll me- it’s a very public space and I never am anywhere that others aren’t around pretty close.

But he’s f#$king pissing me off bc it’s about the only alone time I get also and he’s ruining that for me. If I move to another spot, he always ends up following me over there.

He will eventually leave after about 15 minutes of me failing to acknowledge his presence but the more I think about it, the madder I get because it’s making me not want to go to that park anymore and also because I know damn well he wouldn’t be stopping if I was a dude. And it’s not like he’s taking pics while he’s chilling next to me- I’ve only seen him take a couple pictures.

The rest of the times he’s been up my ass non stop. This is what you get for even saying hi to someone! I feel bad bc so many other guys I meet at this park are nothing but respectful and this AH is making it to where I feel like I can’t talk to anyone without giving them the idea they can annoy the s#$t out of me for some female attention.

So my question is: what are some creative ways I can tell him to go f#$k off without pissing him off badly enough where he may get aggressive? You literally never know these days. I assume he’s harmless but even harmless ones don’t take well to being embarrassed by a woman.

The internet was quick to weigh in.

SueBeee wrote:

I am sorry this is happening. If this doesn't sum up what it's like being a woman I don't know what does.

OP responded:

Right! A friend of mine paints outside- it’s her specialty. She gets harassed by men all the time. She’s had to pack up mid painting and leave which ruins her work completely bc the landscape she’s painting outside is her subject and without that reference she can’t finish. She literally had a guy sit there and watch her paint for 20 min in silence over her shoulder until she just packed up and left. Makes me so mad.

desertsidewalks wrote:

Is there a park ranger or similar nearby? Just report him. Don't second guess it. Take a picture of his license plate and report him.

OP responded:

There is! Good call. Thanks for validating my thought that this behavior should be taken seriously. It’s like men always blame us for “ruining their fun” and I hate to be the only female photo hobbyist at the park and now on top of that, I’m tattling on men for “innocent banter” (that’s how they always spin it).

But at the same time, he’s obviously crossed the line of friendly banter and is making me feel uncomfortable. I haven’t been in a week and am going back tomorrow. If I see him there I will get a pic of his plate and report him. I already know if he is there he’s gonna stop so it will be a perfect chance to snap a pic.

thehotmcpoyle wrote:

I think speaking to the ranger is a fantastic idea, just to let them know how uncomfortable this guy is making you feel. And if he’s doing it to you, maybe he’s doing it to others too. Hopefully this can be resolved quickly so you can fully enjoy your time at the park. If you feel like sharing an update, I’m sure lots of us would love to know how things go for you.

OP responded:

I definitely will! The plan is to go tomorrow morning and Monday, so I’ll def update if I see him there. Hopefully, it was a one time thing and I’ll never see him again- or he’s a creep and shows up just to see if I am there. It’s like one of two ways with these dudes.

I felt like he showed up Sunday to see if I was there bc the second he saw my car- he pulled up next to me and stopped. So I’ll for sure provide an update once I have one!! Thank you all for the advice.

A few days later, OP shared an update.

He is here and of course, keeps showing up at every spot I go to. He did stop for a second and I got out and made it obvious I was writing his plate numbers down. He instantly drove off without saying a word. I am still here- and the lake is a big loop so I keep passing him and he keeps waving and slowing down but I just keep going. Anytime I see him behind me, I pull over and get right behind him.

I think he’s got the hint I want him to leave me alone bc now all of the sudden, he’s bugging some other photographers. Taking pics of what they are taking pics of- of course. I will be reporting him to the ranger and posting him on the local Facebook page. Thank you all for the invaluable advice!!!! It’s really sh#$ty when you think about how many fun activities us women can’t participate in bc of losers like this.

The internet had a lot to say in response to the update.

peter095837 wrote:

OP still should be careful because people like this man can be unpredictable. The creep is the type of person who doesn't see no as an answer and the type who would do something drastic if the things they want aren't given.

Striking_Suspect_681 wrote:

Yeah I've had this experience as well. There was this guy who tried to follow me home. When I understood he wanted to follow me home, I went to the nearest police station lol. I was scared out of my wits. I had to call my dad while driving telling him someone was following me, I was literally about to cry.

Dad told me then to go to a police station and he was then on the call until I went home safely. Being a woman sucks sometimes. Not the same as OP but these creeps don't give up.

greymoria wrote:

This is such a common situation. Her comment about finding a way to make it stop without making him too aggressive is a tad too familiar for comfort. If I had a plate of chips for every time I've helped a friend talk over solutions for that kind of situation, I would be plump enough to roll around like Uranus in its orbit.

shadowlev wrote:

R/whenwomenrefuse

There's a class of holier than thou men who like to lecture that women need to be upfront and assertive to creeps and are unable to wrap their minds around the concept that doing so can be dangerous.

Hopefully, OP is safe moving forward.