'AITA for refusing to let my in-laws see my daughter after what they did during her birth?'
"AITA for refusing to let my in-laws see my daughter after what they did during her birth?"
I (29F) recently gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl named "Lily." My husband (32M) and I have been over the moon, but our joy was ruined by an incident with my in-laws that I can't get over.
For context, my MIL "Karen" (58F) and FIL "Bob" (60M) have always been overbearing and intrusive, but my husband and I have tried to keep the peace.
Throughout my pregnancy, Karen constantly criticized my choices, from my diet to my birth plan. She insisted on being in the delivery room, which I firmly declined. She threw a fit, claiming she had every right to be there as the grandmother, but I stood my ground.
When I went into labor, my husband and I headed to the hospital. Everything was progressing normally until I was about to start pushing. That's when the door burst open, and Karen and Bob barged in, having lied to the nurses to gain access. I was in the middle of a contraction, in immense pain, and suddenly had my in-laws in my face, shouting "encouragement" and trying to film the birth on their phones.
I was mortified and enraged. I screamed at them to get out, but they refused, saying they had a right to be there. My husband tried to get them to leave, but they wouldn't budge.
The nurses and the other hospital staff had to physically remove them from the room. This caused such a commotion that my labor stalled, and I ended up needing an emergency C-section due to the stress and delay they caused.
After Lily was born, Karen and Bob were unapologetic. They actually had the nerve to post about the birth on social media, including pictures they took during the chaos, without our consent. They announced her name and details before we had a chance to, and even worse, they shared a picture of me they clicked while I was in the delivery room earlier(before the emergency C-section) trying to push.
I was pissed and heartbroken. This was supposed to be a private, special moment for my husband and me, and they completely violated that. I decided then and there that they wouldn’t see Lily until they showed genuine remorse and apologized.
When we got home from the hospital, they demanded to visit. I told them they were not welcome and explained why. Karen blew up, saying I was being cruel and a bitch denying them their rights as grandparents.
My husband is supportive but torn because they are his parents. They’ve since started a smear campaign against me to the rest of the family, painting me as the villain who’s keeping their grandchild away for no good reason.
Now, I’m getting calls and messages from extended family(from husband's side), accusing me of being heartless and unforgiving. They say I should put it behind me for the sake of family harmony, but I can’t.
Also my husband's 2 sisters are saying that if they were kind enough to forgive me after i threw a 'hissy fit' and embarrassed and insulted them by getting them thrown out or the delivery room, then I should forgive them too.
Every time I think about what they did, I get so angry and upset. I don’t trust them, and I don’t want them around my daughter until they truly understand and regret the pain they caused. AITA for refusing to let my in-laws see my daughter after what they did during her birth?
Here's what people had to say:
Info: how did they know you were at the hospital? Did you tell them before leaving?
Yeah, we did let them know I was in labor because we wanted them to share in the excitement. But we expected them to wait in the waiting room like any normal family would. Instead, they manipulated their way into the delivery room against our explicit wishes.
OP should press charges.
NTA. As a mom, I just feel white hot fury reading this post. Your husband needs to get his s$#@ together and support you 100%.
Were the doctors able to locate your husband’s spine?
It was in his mommy's purse.
I never understood "keep the peace". Whose peace are you keeping? Dump his whole side of the family. Those people are mental.
The hospital should have never let them in without checking with you first. The whole thing caused you medical trauma and could have hurt or killed you or your child. I would absolutely file a restraining order and I would sue the hospital!!!
Honestly if it was me I would move out of state... F$%# all of them. You are absolutely NTA and your husband should understand what his parents did not only violated your privacy but also put you and his child in danger. His parents obviously do not care about either of you or they wouldn't have done this. I am so sorry you went through this.