'AITA for refusing to let my sister’s BF attend Christmas dinner after what he said to my husband?
"AITA for refusing to let my sister’s BF attend Christmas dinner after what he said to my husband?"
My sister’s been dating this guy, Jack, for about six months. She’s head over heels for him, but my husband and I aren’t his biggest fans. He’s been… offhandedly rude a few times, but nothing major until recently.
Last weekend, we hosted a small family dinner. Jack was invited, and things were going fine until Jack made a comment about my husband’s work. My husband is an elementary school teacher, and Jack apparently thought it was funny to call him “a babysitter who actually gets paid for it.”
My husband tried to laugh it off, but I could see he was hurt. My husband works so hard and genuinely loves what he does, so I snapped back and told Jack that at least my husband contributes something meaningful to the world, unlike people who just mooch off their girlfriends (Jack is unemployed and lives with my sister rent-free).
Things got tense, and Jack stormed out. My sister later said I embarrassed him and that I should apologize. Now Christmas is coming up, and my sister asked if Jack could come to our family dinner. I said no. I told her he wasn’t welcome in my house until he apologized to my husband.
She called me a hypocrite for demanding an apology after what I said about him. Our parents are staying neutral, but my mom did say it might be better to just let it go for the holidays. So, AITA?
Just to clarify: my husband didn’t say anything to provoke Jack, and this wasn’t a one-off thing. Jack has made snide comments about other people in the family before, like joking about my dad being “too old-fashioned” for using cash instead of digital payments. It’s not just us.
Also, I’d be open to having a civil conversation with Jack, but he hasn’t reached out at all since that night. My sister keeps doubling down that I’m the one who should apologize, which feels unfair considering he started it.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Your apology needs to be “I’m sorry your boyfriend is a lazy, shallow jerk” Nothing more needs to be said.
Lmao. He's insulting your husband for being a teacher when the guy is unemployed and leeching off your sister. The audacity of this clown. Nta. F that guy.
I’m so confused. They have only been together 6 months and he’s ALREADY living with her and unemployed??? What the f*&^ lmao
No one falls in love faster than a guy that needs a place to live.
Let is go. It's family. To keep the peace ect... Are all phrases that should be ignored. Do what is good for you and YOUR family. Everyone else can go to you know where.
YTA, but kinda understandable. Jack was a total douche for making that comment about your husband's job. Teachers are essential, and he was way out of line. However, calling him a moocher was also a low blow. You escalated the situation unnecessarily. Your sister has a point about being a hypocrite