'AITA for refusing to pay a neighborhoood kid for cutting my lawn?'
"AITA for refusing to pay a neighborhoood kid for cutting my lawn?"
I (29M) recently bought my first house. I'm settling in and like the neighborhood, and a few neighbors even came by to say hello. They included a woman (43F) and her 13 year old son.
Not long after, I was on my couch one afternoon and saw the son outside, mowing my front lawn. I was confused, since I'd never asked him to and he'd never offered. I went out and politely asked him why he was doing it - he said he did it for lots of neighbors, and quickly added they give him $5 for it.
I found it really weird, so thanked him for the partial work he'd done, before explaining that since I hadn't asked or wanted him to do it, I wasn't going to be paying him. He said OK, and quietly left my lawn.
I figured that might be the end of it - just a kid trying to make some money, resolved with no harm done, end of story. But the next day his mom arrived on my doorstep and angrily asked me why I hadn't paid her son. I basically repeated what I'd said to her son, but she wouldn't accept it.
She just kept saying that it was a kind gesture, and that he does it for all the other neighbors. She also said $5 isn't a lot of money and I could have just gave it to him. I kept trying to explain that an agreement like that needs to be set up ahead of time otherwise it's nothing more than a random demand for money, but she basically tuned me out and ended up walking away as I was talking.
I was amazed the adult in the situation was handling it worse than the literal child was. I'm wondering how much longer this will go on for.
That was last week. Every time I've seen her since, she's stared daggers at me or made a show of crossing the street to avoid me. I'm not instigating anything further - I really have no desire to speak to her - but I'm thinking she might try to send her poor kid back to collect the money, or even mow the lawn again.
I've vented about this to family and friends, and while most seemed to agree with me, some said I should have been grateful and paid the boy, and just told them from then on not to mow the lawn. I can't tell if I've been an a$# here, or if my reaction to the whole thing was entirely justified.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA. I kinda feel bad for that kid, because it sounds like his mom is teaching him that he can get stuff for completely unsolicited help.
Acceptable-Essay-490 OP responded:
I feel bad for him too, he seems like a nice kid. His mom's behavior is what I take issue with.
I think you're NTA but not particularly pro-social or neighborly. Sure, you're right to not pay a kid for a thing you didn't ask for, and the mom is an a^*%ole for confronting you when it's clear her kid runs the risk of not getting paid.
On the other hand, you may have missed an opportunity to help out an industrious kid and one lady doesn't like you now. You missed an opportunity to be generous, and as the new guy in the neighborhood you might not be able to make social in roads as a result. Being a friendly neighbors do have a lot of reciprocal benefits.
Acceptable-Essay-490 OP responded:
I understand that. It's not that I wouldn't be happy for him to mow my lawn in future (and I'd give him more than $5 for it), but my problem is really that nothing was discussed or arranged, it just happened without my knowledge and I suddenly need to pay.
And yeah, I know it isn't a lot of money but that isn't my issue. I don't know how social I want to be with his mom in the future, but the son is nice. Happy to help a kid out, just let me in on it first.
ESH, Everyone Sucks Here. The mother never should have paid any visit to fight about it. A new neighbor who argues with a kid over $5 for mowing their lawn certainly won't be open to debate about it.
Unless you stopped him at the first strip you should have paid the $5 and let him know there was no need going forward, you handle your own grass. This honestly is hard to believe. $5 hasn't been the price of lawn mowing for decades, whether by a naive kid or not.
Acceptable-Essay-490 OP responded:
Fair enough - thanks for the take.
NTA. There needs to be communication before the kid does this sort of thing. And you stopped him once you noticed what was happening. You didn't wait for him to finish and then question him. You weren't trying to get free work. What do the neighbors say/think? Maybe try to talk with them and get their input; they've been there longer. They all may be fed up with that family, also.
Acceptable-Essay-490 OP responded:
I haven't spoken to the other neighbors about it, but it might be worth it to hear their take.
I wouldn’t. That would just extend the drama. You can explain your side if they bring it up but going around to the neighbors to complain might be a bad look.
Definitely NTA. If you’d had any desire to maintain the neighbor relationship, pay five for this time but make it very clear you will not pay in the future unless explicitly agreed to. Either way, absolutely nothing wrong with what you did (I’d have thought differently if you had let him finish when you knew he was out there and then refused)
His mom is doing him a great disservice. If she keeps it up, go wash her car windows and then demand $25.
Acceptable-Essay-490 OP responded:
As soon as I saw him, I went out to ask why he was mowing the lawn. He'd done less than a quarter of my yard, so I caught him pretty soon after he'd started I guess.
If everyone else pays him $5 for a full lawn, and he did a quarter of yours, maybe offer him $1.25 😂