'AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after what she did to my fiancé?'
"AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after what she did to my fiancé?"
So, my (28F) sister "Ella" (31F) is getting married in two weeks. We've always been close, even though we have our differences. I've always been more of a laid-back, introverted person, while Ella is the life of the party and loves being the center of attention. It never bothered me much—until now.
I've been engaged to my fiancé, "Mark" (29M), for about a year. He's wonderful—kind, supportive, and just an all-around great guy. My family has always liked him, or so I thought. But about a month ago, something happened that made me question everything.
Ella asked Mark to meet her for coffee one day, saying she needed help picking out a wedding gift for me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when Mark came home, he was really quiet. After some coaxing, he finally told me what happened.
Apparently, Ella spent the entire time trying to convince him that I wasn't right for him. She told him I was too boring, that I wasn't ambitious enough, and that he could "do better." She even went so far as to suggest that he should call off the engagement and see other people. Mark was completely blindsided and upset—he said he defended me, but it was clear that Ella was relentless.
I was furious when I found out. I confronted Ella, and she didn’t even deny it. She said she was "just looking out for Mark" and that she "wants the best for him." When I asked her why she thought it was her place to interfere in our relationship, she just shrugged and said she was being honest.
I told her that what she did was completely out of line and hurtful, not just to me, but to Mark as well. She didn't apologize—instead, she doubled down, saying that if I was confident in my relationship, I wouldn't be so upset. I ended up leaving her house in tears.
Since then, I've barely spoken to her. My parents found out about the situation and while they agree that what Ella did was wrong, they're begging me to still attend the wedding. They think that missing it would cause a huge rift in the family and that I should just "let it go" for the sake of peace.
But I don't know if I can. Every time I think about what she did, it makes my blood boil. I feel betrayed and hurt, and I don't know if I can just pretend everything is fine for her big day. Mark supports whatever decision I make, but I can tell he’s hurt by this too. So, AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding after what she did to my fiancé?
What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:
CrystalQueen3000 said:
NTA. She might be getting married to someone else but she clearly has feelings for Mark
imwilling2learn said:
NTA. Narcissist, cheaters, basically generally sh!tty people all bank on the fact that your reaction to their toxic behavior will be viewed as an overreaction, and they try to pin the blame on you.
This is especially true in family dynamics, with this ridiculous belief that somehow being related by blood, give someone a free pass to shit all over you.if she ever is truly repent, then maybe there would be room for grace and forgiveness. But until then I would consider her dead to you.
Agreeable-Book-7018 said:
NTA. Tell your parents you're staying home for the sake of peace. Your peace.
And amyloulie said:
NTA. I don’t blame you for not wanting to breathe the same air as her. What a twisted and cruel thing to do. Also, it’s odd that she’s “looking out for Mark” and not her sister. Distance is key with her from now I feel
And frogmelladb said:
Your sister is lucky I’m not you as I’d go to the wedding, grab the mic and tell everyone how surprised you are she married her husband because she spent so much energy on trying to persuade my fiance not to marry me I thought she must be in love with him.