'AITA for refusing to babysit my niece?' 'My sister kept a secret from me.'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my niece because my sister kept a secret from me?"
Here's the context. I have a twin sister, let's call her Ellie, and we've always been close. She's my other half, and we tell each other everything, or so I thought. Recently, she gave birth to her first child, a beautiful baby girl, Emma. Naturally, I've been thrilled to be an uncle and have been doing everything I can to help.
Last weekend, Ellie asked me to babysit Emma for a few hours while she and her husband attended a wedding. I agreed because, of course, anything for family. But then, two days before the wedding, I found out something that shook me to my core.
Ellie lied to me for years about a big decision she made when we were younger. We both applied to the same university after high school, but I was rejected, and she got in. I always thought it was bad luck on my part, but through a mutual friend, I found out that Ellie was originally waitlisted.
According to this friend, Ellie wrote a heartfelt letter to admissions explaining how much she wanted to attend—using a story I told her about a difficult time in my life as the emotional hook.
I confronted Ellie about this, and after a long pause, she admitted it was true. She argued that she only did it because she was desperate, and she knew I’d want the best for her. She claimed it didn’t matter in the end because she still earned her place through hard work. But to me, it felt like a betrayal. That story was personal, and she used it for her own gain without even telling me.
So, when the babysitting day came, I told her I couldn’t do it. I said I needed time to process what I’d learned and that I wasn’t in the right headspace to look after Emma. She was furious, saying I was punishing her and her daughter for something that happened years ago. She accused me of being immature and said I was letting Emma suffer because I couldn’t get over myself.
The thing is, I adore Emma, and I would never intentionally hurt her. But I couldn’t just pretend everything was fine when my trust in Ellie had been shattered. Our parents are split: my mom thinks I’m justified in feeling hurt, but my dad says I’m being petty and should’ve babysat because “family comes first.” Now Ellie and I aren’t speaking, and I’m wondering if I overreacted. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
BoomBangKersplat said:
Your dad can babysit if he feels so strongly about it.
RealFakeLlama said:
Old news for her. Recent betrayal for you, since you only now learned she took your personal experience claimed as her own for her own gain. That makes her the ahole and not you.
NezuAkiko said:
NTA. You have no obligation to babysit for anyone, especially when you are hurt and need space.
Tall-Negotiation6623 said:
NTA. She stole your story for her benefit, that was selfish and the betrayal is fresh for you. And you didn’t punish your niece by backing out of babysitting, your sister was the one that had to face consequences of her past actions and suddenly lacked a babysitter so she could attend a wedding.
She tried to guilt you by claiming you were punishing Emma, which was bad of her. She should have told you the truth years ago and now she needs to accept that you need time to process this and not try and guilt you. Your sister was and still is selfish.
controversialmind737 said:
NTA your sister betrayed you, might be a while ago, but for you, this just happened now. Emma isn’t suffering at all with her parents going to a wedding. Your sister is an AH. Nothing in your post alludes to her taking proper accountability or understanding why this is a betrayal or how she hurt you . You don’t get to hurt people and then decide how they should react.
WomanInQuestion said:
NTA - to her it happened years ago, but for you, the betrayal is brand new because you just found out about it.
Xelin-san said:
NTA for me. You are right to be disapointed by your sis.