'AITA for refusing to discuss my daughter's name with my family?' 'They want me to change it.'

"AITA for refusing to discuss my daughter's name with my family because they want me to change it?"

I (29f) gave birth to my daughter, Sloane, 14 weeks ago. My husband (30m) and I didn't announce her name until she was born. The reason for this is because I knew my family didn't like the name Sloane and would spend their time trying to talk us out of the name. I know this because I started loving the name Sloane when I was a kid.

There was a girl in my class from 1st to 3rd grade and I told my family at the time I thought her name was really cool and they told me it wasn't and my parents said it wasn't even a real name. I brought it up a few times. But I remember the negativity. I even remember my mom pitying her because of it.

When I was 14 she even brought her up and told me she bet Sloane was going by her middle name or a nickname by then (she moved schools after 3rd grade so I didn't see her). When I was 16 one of my friends transferred schools after a move and mentioned Sloane was in her class and still used Sloane.

I rubbed it into my mom's face so hard. But she told me it was still an ugly name and she felt bad for the girl who had to have it as her name. My parents prefer names like Anna, James, Elizabeth, William and Hannah, which are my siblings and my names. They think those are sophisticated and classic and easy to use through life. They don't think Sloane's a kids name. Just not a real name and so ugly.

I was lucky that my husband loved the name and when we talked baby names he said we could name a daughter Sloane. He also knew how my family felt so he was on board with keeping the name to us until our daughter was here.

You might think that the name being official and on the birth certificate would deter any negativity on the name. But since my daughter's name was announced my family have wanted to "sit and discuss" the name. They said they never believed I would seriously carry on and name my daughter Sloane. I shut them down and told them I did and that was that.

I have refused to discuss it more. I ignore them via text if I have to or end calls. I left my sisters house just a week ago because they tried to bring it up. They told me it's childish to run away from a serious discussion.

I said we have nothing to discuss. That my husband and I had our discussion on the name and that was the only one that needed to happen. They told me a part of being a family is hearing each other out and I'm being childish by refusing their requests. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MerlinBiggs said:

NTA. Part of being family is respecting and supporting each other. Tell them that. Sloane is a cool name. It's uncommon for a girl, and distinctive. Hey, you always remembered that girl form school didn't you.

silverheartsofice said:

I have a fairly unique name that's gender neutral and when I was born my aunt told my parents they were making a mistake. She recanted a few years later and agreed she can't see any other name fitting me as well as mine does. I hope with time your family comes to love the name.

sjyffl said:

NTA. But your parents are. You’re absolutely right OP - the only decision and discussion that was important was the one between you and your husband. Your family is so out of line and I applaud you for standing your ground. But I’d take a harder line from here.

“Her name is Sloane - either you get on board or you don’t need to worry about using it, since you won’t be seeing her.” Like another poster said. Also, as a kid who grew up with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Sloane is THE name ever. I love it!

RandomAho said:

NTA. Go with what you want. The only other consideration is whether the name you choose will cause any embarrassment to your kid as they grow up. If not, then you're all set.

Kandossi said:

Sloane is so pretty though. Wasn't it the name used in "ferris buler's day off?" Because that's who I think off when I hear the name. NTA.

Knyghtlorde said:

NTA. Tell them you want to have a family discussion on how they should be expected to accept and respect the choices of their relatives rather than trying to twist, manipulate and coerce people to change views to match their own. Until they agree on having a meeting to learn why they should accept decisions others make, there is nothing to discuss.