'AITA for refusing to help my husband out after he made a terrible financial decision?'
"AITA for refusing to help my husband out after he made a terrible financial decision?"
After the company I worked at closing its doors 6 weeks ago and me not being able to find other employment. I still pull my weight. I still pay half the bills and now that I am home 24/7, I clean the entire house and cook all the meals.
Well, his truck just sh$t the bed roughly 4 weeks ago and since I was out of work, I told him he could use my vehicle until he finds an alternative. I've been extremely irritated with the arrangement, despite telling him he could use my vehicle.
Reason being is he's been using it for more than just work and he takes off with my vehicle at least twice after getting home from work to either go run to the store or whatever else. He's put 3,137 miles on my vehicle since he started using it and to put it blunt, I NEVER have my vehicle anymore.
Literally never. So I started really pushing him to get a new vehicle because I'm done with this arrangement. He started searching maybe a week ago and he told me he was going to get a hybrid car because it was more fuel efficient (his work is an hour and 15 minutes away). He went to go look at a car he decided on yesterday morning.
Well, he came back yesterday afternoon, towing a truck. It's important to note that this is his dream truck. He's wanted one of these for a god awful long time. But here's the problem.
The truck isn't running. It needs extensive work. It's a project at this point that we do not have the money to fix. I asked how much he bought it for and he tells me $3800, which is $650 more than the car he was going to get. And when I commented on the work that needed to be done, he says "I will figure it out, I know people."
So I said "well, you had better call them people now because you're not taking my vehicle anymore." He just looked like a deer in headlights and didn't understand why I would no longer let him use my vehicle and I told him plain exactly what I told him last week.
I was done with this arrangement. He was supposed to get a ready vehicle so I could have my vehicle back. He says he understands but he can have this vehicle done in a month or less and that given the model and condition of the truck, he got it for a steal and where it's his dream truck, he couldnt walk away from it.
And I get that but I'm done being literally trapped at the house. He is gone from 3am to nearly 5pm 6 days a week. He seems to think that since I'm not working and since we are married and since he would "do the same for me" that I should be more lenient and understanding here.
I truly can't do it though. I want my vehicle back and this truck was a dumb purchase so he's not using my vehicle anymore. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Short-Homework4550 said:
NTA. How many people have passed up dreams because they weren't practical? These days, I bet a LOT. He's put 3,137 miles on my vehicle since he started using it and to put it blunt, I NEVER have my vehicle anymore. Literally never.
3000 miles. Might be due for an oil change. Is he paying for that, considering he's the one putting more wear and tear on the car? I'd be pissed at being stranded as well. It's a project at this point that we do not have the money to fix.
Yet another reason to be pissed. There are any number of money hogging disasters that could happen. Right now, I'm bummed because I've racked up $7K for emergency surgery.
Guess what? No more playing or frivolous spending until that is paid off. Sucks like a Hoover, but that's life. Hard times don't allow fatuous gestures. My spouse would be in the dog house if they did something like that.
thesilveringfox said:
NTA. he did a thing without consulting you, after agreeing to a different thing. he made his bed. the functioning vehicle is your vehicle, and he’s already abused your good will. good on you for setting boundaries and sticking to them.
Ashamed_Quiet_6777 said:
NTA He went to buy a working vehicle and instead bought somebody else's problem.
Adept_Ad_473 said:
NTA. Daily driver and dream car are two totally different things. He disregarded what he needed in favor of what he wanted with zero consideration for you.
The end result, is he has a roller, a shit ton of lost money, no transportation, and and a justifiably pissed off wife. Coming from someone who likes cars, your husband is a major AH.
ghjkl098 said:
NTA. He went to buy a vehicle. He bought a vehicle. He no longer needs yours. What he does with that vehicle is up to him. If it is a vehicle he can drive to work that’s up to him. If it’s a vehicle he can only sit in and wank over that is also up to him. Either way that is his responsibility to work out.
Spare-Valuable8031 said:
NTA....but isn't he the only one with an income right now? Can he still get to work without your car? If not, you're still not wrong but... don't you need someone to have an income?
Old-AF said:
NTA. You don’t buy a “project car” when you need a running car NOW. What happened to getting good gas mileage?