'AITA for refusing to lend my sister my wedding dress?' 'She eloped without inviting me.'

"AITA for refusing to lend my sister my wedding dress because she eloped without inviting me?"

I (28F) got married three years ago, and my wedding dress is something I hold very dear. It was custom-made, and I spent a lot of time and money making sure it was perfect for me. It’s been sitting in my closet ever since, and I plan on keeping it as a keepsake for sentimental reasons.

My sister, Emily (25F), recently announced that she’s having a formal wedding ceremony after eloping with her husband a year ago. The thing is, when she eloped, she didn’t tell anyone in the family—not even me.

I only found out afterward through a social media post. It hurt that she hadn’t invited me or even told me about such a big event in her life. She claimed it was a last-minute decision and didn’t want to make a fuss.

Now, Emily’s planning a big ceremony to celebrate with friends and family, and she asked if she could borrow my wedding dress for her special day. She said it would mean a lot to her and would save her some money. Honestly, I was taken aback. After not inviting me to her elopement and not even mentioning it until after the fact, I felt like this was a big ask.

I told her that while I’m happy she’s having a ceremony, I’m not comfortable lending out my dress because it’s very personal to me. She got upset, saying I’m being selfish and that as sisters, we should share these special moments. She even hinted that I was still holding a grudge over not being invited to her elopement, which, to be fair, still stings a little.

Now, my mom is on her side, saying it’s just a dress and that I’m overreacting. Some of my friends, however, think I have every right to say no, especially given the circumstances. AITA for refusing to lend my sister my wedding dress?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Cute-Profession9983 said:

NTA She could alter it without your permission, get it stained or torn, or any other number of things. But it's the entitlement more than anything that makes you right in your position.

Obi-Juan_Valdez said:

I don’t think it really matters that you weren’t invited to her elopement, as a lack of guests is part of the point of eloping. However, your dress is yours and is sentimental to you. That’s more than enough reason to say no. NTA.

CombinationCalm9616 said:

NTA. If it’s just a dress then she can just get another one. She can look online or in charities shops for a dress that she can buy and have altered to fit her.

yXoKtHumQjzwkKwAkNwc said:

NTA because you don't have to lend the dress if you don't want to. However, eloping literally means "runaway secretly in order to get married", being mad about not being in the loop makes no sense especially since now they are having a ceremony, and you're invited.

BertiepopsJG said:

"As sisters, we should share these special moments." I don't think she really thought that one through. She has zero self awareness, right? NTA.

l3ex_G said:

Nta put the dress somewhere safe and your sister can get over it. You’ve told her no as it’s too personal and she is being a brat.

AeriePuzzleheaded675 said:

NTA. “We should share these special moments? That did NOT happen with your elopement. It’s NOT happening with MY dress!” Mic drop, then walk away.