'AITA for refusing to let my MIL see my son because she keeps interfering in my marriage?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to let my MIL see my son because she keeps interfering in my marriage?"

I (20F) am currently pregnant with my second child, and I have a 2-year-old son with my husband (24M). My relationship with my mother-in-law (MIL) has been rocky from the start, but things have gotten worse since my son was born.

MIL never really liked me. She made it clear she thought her son could do better, even though my husband and I have been together for 4 years and are happy. From the beginning, she’s always tried to make everything about her and my husband.

She’s constantly inviting him to dinners and events without including me, calling him multiple times a day, and making comments like, “No one will ever love you as much as I do.”

At first, I tried to be understanding. I know she’s a single mom and my husband is her only child, but it’s getting out of hand. Whenever she visits, she tries to undermine me in front of my son.

She’ll say things like, “Mommy doesn’t know what she’s doing,” or try to take over when I’m parenting. Once, she even told my son that “Grandma is the only one who really cares about you.”

When I told my husband about it, he was supportive but didn’t want to confront her directly, thinking it would just make things worse. I felt like I was going crazy because every time I brought it up, MIL would deny everything or say I was being too sensitive.

Recently, though, it hit a breaking point. We were at a family gathering, and MIL made a comment in front of everyone that she should just “move in with us so she could help raise the kids” because I “clearly need it.” I was mortified and furious. My husband stood up for me, but she started crying and said I was trying to “take her son away from her.”

After that, I decided I’ve had enough. I told my husband that MIL isn’t allowed to come over or see our son until she learns to respect me as his mother and his wife.

My husband is on my side, but now MIL is telling everyone I’m keeping her away from her grandchild out of spite, and some of my husband’s extended family have reached out to say I’m being unfair. AITA for setting this boundary with my mother-in-law, or am I overreacting?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Icy-Mathematician373 said:

NTA!! This is wild behavior from the MIL. Her son needs to start the conversation of boundaries with you, the family, and him if he feels it and stand his ground. Its hard, but ultimately if she is going to listen to anyone it’s her son. She is so far out of line with the comments to you and especially your son. You are in the right on this by a mile. If she can respect boundaries, she can come back around.

StillChasingDopamine said:

NTA but I’m getting hung up on your age difference with your husband.

Disastrous_Dingo_309 said:

NTA. You have every right to set boundaries with your child, and your MIL’s disrespectful and belittling behavior towards you warrants your current actions of not allowing her contact.

I’m glad your husband is on your side, but he needs to be the one that is more proactive in setting the boundaries with his mother. She sounds manipulative and crazy and I wouldn’t want her near my kid if I were you either.

TopAd7154 said:

NTA. Make a list of everything she has said and done. Send the list to them all and ask them if they would have put up with it from their MILs. If they try to dodge the question, you say "That's not what I asked. Please answer the question I asked." Nobody will say it's acceptable and those who do? Weak.

Far_Awareness_4510 said:

NTA. Block this extended family of your husband and the problem is solved. Your MIL has to learn, that you married her son and not she.

Jealous-Ad-5146 said:

NTA - your husband needs to deal with her.

photosbeersandteach said:

NTA. If your MIL’s ability to insult you without consequences is more important to her than having a relationship with her grandchild, then that’s on her.

Later OP came back with this update:

First, I want to thank everyone for the advice and support. I wasn’t expecting my story to get so much attention, but it’s been really helpful to see so many people validating my feelings. After reading through your comments, I decided to have a serious conversation with my husband about everything.

I sat him down and explained how much his mom’s behavior has been affecting me, especially while being pregnant and trying to care for our son. I told him that I appreciate him standing up for me at the family gathering, but we needed a more permanent solution.

It’s not just about that one comment—it’s about her constant attempts to interfere in our relationship and undermine me as a mother. I also emphasized how stressful it’s been for me, and how I need to feel supported by him, not just temporarily, but consistently.

To my relief, my husband really listened. He admitted that he’s been avoiding confronting his mom for years because she’s always been a bit overbearing, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But he also acknowledged that the situation has gotten out of control, especially now that we have children. He agreed that it’s important for us to set clear boundaries with her to protect our family.

We decided to invite MIL over to have a direct conversation. When she arrived, I told her that while I understand she loves her son and our child, her behavior has been damaging our relationship and making me feel disrespected as a mother and a wife. I told her that if she wanted to continue being a part of our lives, she needed to stop undermining me and overstepping boundaries.

As expected, she didn’t take it well. She immediately got defensive and started crying, saying I was trying to “take her family away from her” and accusing me of turning her son against her. She claimed she was just “trying to help” and that I was being too sensitive.

At that point, my husband stepped in and backed me up, telling her that this wasn’t just my issue—it was our decision as a couple. He made it clear that while we still want her to be involved in our children’s lives, it has to be in a respectful way. He explained that if she couldn’t respect our boundaries, we would have no choice but to limit contact.

She stormed out, saying she needed “time to think,” and we haven’t heard from her for a while. My husband has spoken to her a couple of times since, and she’s still upset, but I think she’s starting to realize that we’re serious about this.

Some of his extended family members are still upset with me, but I’m learning to tune them out. Right now, I’m focused on my pregnancy and making sure our family is healthy and happy. We’re hoping MIL will come around eventually, but if she doesn’t, at least we’re finally on the same page about what’s best for our family.

Thanks again for all the advice. I feel much more confident in our decision now.