'AITA for refusing to pay for my girlfriend’s emergency vet bill?' 'She’s the one who lost our dog.'
"AITA for refusing to pay for my girlfriend’s emergency vet bill because she’s the one who lost our dog?"
I rarely post in here so hopefully this isn’t too all over the place. So I (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been dating for about 2 years, and we adopted a dog together a year ago. This dog, Charlie, means a lot to both of us, but honestly, I take care of him more.
I walk him, feed him, take him to the vet, etc. My girlfriend loves him but isn’t as involved with his care, which I don’t totally mind. Last weekend, she took the dog to the park alone, which she rarely does. She’s the type of person who’s always on her phone, and apparently, that’s what happened this time because she LOST the dog.
She said she "looked away for a second" while texting, and the dog slipped out of his harness. He has NEVER slipped out of his harness before, at least that I’ve seen. She spent hours searching for him and didn’t call me until later, which pissed me off because I would've dropped everything to help.
Long story short, the dog was found by someone, but he had been hit by a car and needed emergency surgery. The vet bill came to around $4,000, which we don’t have just lying around. I agreed to cover about $1,000 because I’m paying for school right now (her parents pay for her education).
I told her the rest is on her, because it was her fault he got lost in the first place. She thinks that’s completely unfair because we both love the dog and should split the bill. She also says she already feels horrible and I’m just "punishing" her more by making her pay.
But from my perspective, if she had been paying attention, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. It’s not like it was a freak accident or anything, it was negligence, and I don’t feel like I should have to cover her mistake. Some of her friends are saying I’m being too harsh, but I really don’t think it’s unreasonable. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
xSophie99x said:
NTA. You’re already covering $1k, which is generous considering it was her mistake. If she’d been paying attention, this could’ve been avoided. You’re not punishing her, you’re just asking her to take responsibility for something that happened because she wasn’t paying attention.
BlueGreen_1956 said:
NTA. She is shocked that her actions have consequences. She needs to learn that lesson like we all had to. Maybe next time, she will put her phone down when she is in charge of the dog.
ProfPlumDidIt said:
NTA. The issue is actually bigger than this one specific instance: Your girlfriend won't take responsibility for her actions. She's trying to say you're punishing her to make you feel guilty. Tell her straight up that actions have consequences, that her actions led to the injuries and thus the bill, so her paying is simply the consequences. It's part of being a responsible adult.
If she won't pay, dump her immediately and then sue her. If she does pay but keeps whining that she shouldn't have to pay, dump her after you get the money. If she pays AND acknowledges that she should have done so immediately without trying to weasel her way out of it, see how things go - maybe she's capable of owning her actions and learning responsibility.
EZCarter040 said:
Nta. It’s not punishing her. It’s her taking responsibility for being a bad pet owner. Glad you guys don’t have kids!
Similar-Traffic7317 said:
NTA at all. But your girlfriend sure is! Maybe you should break up with the lying ahole you are currently dating. Is she going to ignore her future children too because she is on her phone? What a fing ahole, thankfully your dog was found alive.
anic14 said:
I work in a vet clinic. I see dogs that slip out of harnesses daily - most people don't fit it correctly, it's too loose, wrong style for the dog's body shape, it gets put on upside down or backwards....so many reasons. That said, it's not a sneaky process. Usually it involves the dog slamming on the brakes and going backwards, ducking their head to slip out of it. You feel that. They don't just disappear. NTA.
Guest001yt said:
NTA. She NEEDS to take responsibility for her actions and needs to be more involved or she doesn’t deserve to be a part of the dogs life. It could be a CHILD next. Don’t let her avoid responsibility.