'AITA for refusing to split the bill evenly when I barely ate anything?' 'I was being cheap.'
"AITA for refusing to split the bill evenly when I barely ate anything?"
Last weekend, I went out for dinner with a group of friends. There were six of us, and we went to a pretty nice restaurant. I wasn’t that hungry, so I just ordered a small appetizer and a drink, which totaled around $15. However, most of the others ordered multiple courses, drinks, and desserts, with their meals adding up to over $50 each.
When the bill came, one friend suggested we just split it evenly. That would’ve meant I’d be paying around $50, which is way more than what I ordered. I said I wasn’t comfortable with that and would rather just pay for what I had.
A couple of friends were fine with it, but two others got annoyed and said I was being cheap and that it was easier to split it evenly. I stood my ground and only paid for my portion.
Later, in our group chat, one of them brought it up again, saying I ruined the vibe of the night by being difficult over a few dollars and that splitting evenly is what friends do. I feel like it’s unfair for me to pay for everyone else’s expensive meals when I didn’t really eat much, but now I’m wondering if I was being stingy and making a big deal out of nothing.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
National_Pension_110 said:
NTA. Lol, the only people who ever get offended by not splitting the bill are the ones who benefit from your charity. NTA. As a general rule of etiquette, I propose this: the only people who can suggest splitting the bill evenly are those who would be most harmed by it.
When I’m out with friends and I’m feeling in the mood, I’ll offer to split it evenly when I know my actual share would have been less. When I know I ate or drank more than the rest, I keep my mouth shut and if someone offers an even split, I STILL say, well, at least let me cover the tip as well since I ate/drank more than you did. It’s common courtesy and any real friend would know that.
WatchingTellyNow said:
How the bill will be handled should be stated explicitly before anyone orders anything, to avoid confusion or being blindsided with a huge bill. As for "that's what friends do," no, friends don't take advantage of friends. NTA.
Jainer99 said:
NTA. Two pieces of advice: In a group meal setting, always take cash to pay for your part of the bill. If they insist on splitting the bill evenly when you clearly have had less than everyone, order a bunch of items to go, add it to the bill, smile and say "so, we're splitting it evenly?"
Smarterthanuthink867 said:
Definitely NTA. Why should you pay for a portion of their meals? Also, point out to the friend that said you were being difficult that $35 (how much more you would have paid) is NOT a few dollars. Next time just ask for separate checks for each person's meal. That way they can't use the excuse that it's easier to split one check and pay less than what they should.
SL8Rgirl said:
NTA. You only split evenly when everyone orders roughly in the same price range. Otherwise pay for what you ordered. Someone is trying to get out of paying for what they got by having their friends subsidize their overspending.
MystickPisa said:
NTA and this is a classic one. I've learned over time to state clearly at the start of the meal that I'm not going to have much, so I'm only going to pay for my own. Totally avoids this (very familiar) situation.