'AITA for refusing to switch my daughter to another school?' 'I'm concerned she'd lose her morals.'

"AITA for refusing to switch my daughter to another school?"

I have a daughter (15F). She was always happy with her school and has good friends. Some years ago when my son was her age, I switched him to an elite private school. Not because I thought the education was better but they follow an international curriculum based on the UK system and this is helpful for applying to international universities who recognize the system.

My son will be studying engineering abroad. At the time when my son changed schools, my daughter said she was happy not to switch schools and said it would be hard to make new friends etc. However, now since he started attending she has gotten jealous and started reading his textbooks especially the science ones and going through things like the yearbook.

She is now upset with me because I refused to switch her to the school even though she herself at the time said she was happy where she was. While I can afford it, the education isn't really better and I only sent my son there so that foreign universities recognize the credential better.

Furthermore, the school environment would be quite different. She goes to a girls only school and this is co-ed. Most of the girls at the school are foreigners with different values (usually the kids of diplomats and embassy workers and the boys are either the kids of diplomats or the ultra-rich locals) and I am concerned this could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals. AITA here?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BananaMilkshakeButt said:

YTA YTA YTA!!!! You say the "school isn't any better" and claim you sent your son there so "that foreign universities recognize the credential better". So it is better, clearly, you just don't see your daughter going to university, let alone one aboard. Why is that? Do you always undermine her?

"could cause her to either not fit in or lose her morals" As everyone else said, why are you not concerned with your son losing his morals? What are these other children getting up to that you don't want your daughter getting up to? You wanted to send her there but she said no, and now she wants to go, you don't want her to? This makes NO SENSE. None at all.

Overall, you're sexist. That is what it is. You view your daughter in a different light to your son. You belive she is at risk of "losing her morals" but you don't worry that your son might either, or is it you wouldn't care if he did?

Secondly, you seem to undermine her as a student - clearly you don't think she go to uni or one aboard, but if you keep treating your daughter in a limited capacity, that is all she will achieve in life. YTA, a sexist one at that, you can make this right by sending her to the better school. Oh while you're at it, apologise to her as well.

Kaynico said:

YTA. When she was younger and school was more about friends than education, she was fine with staying where she was. Now that she's the same age as your son was when he switched schools, she's looking through his textbooks and realizing that it's far better opportunities....

...yet you want to deny her that because she would be transferring out of an all girls school and "losing her morals." This is probably the single most sexist thing I've read from a parent.

discoduck007 said:

YTA. Some of your justification for not sending her to this school sounds gender biased or even sexist as you said the girls who attend are one type of person and the boys who go there are another. If the advantage gained by attending this new school is better for your son's future would it not also expand the opportunities for your daughter?

It seems natural for her to change her mind after seeing her brother get this opportunity. Wouldn't she also be able to maintain her current friendships outside of school? Also without her current friend group wouldn't she have less social distractions making it easier to focus on her studies? YTA.

CoverCharacter8179 said:

YTA. I know, different cultures and all that, but this reads pretty sexist to me. Why doesn't your daughter get the same opportunities to study abroad as your son? And why does the concern about "losing...morals" not apply to him?

New_Ingenuity_4661 said:

YTA. So you're fine with your son in this questionable moral place but not your daughter. Not switching her will probably destroy your relationship with her long term. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

eowynsheiress said:

YTA. Switch her if you can afford it. Why is your son’s education the priority? Remember she is a child and allowed to change her mind. I would let her change her mind just this once because you already know it’s the better education.

LoveBeach8 said:

YTA. Sounds to me that you favor your son over your daughter. He'll have a possibility of better resume and she won't.

qtcyclone said:

YTA. And a sexist one too. Why don’t you care about your daughter getting credentials that will be better recognized by foreign universities?