'AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister's Wedding After She Trash Talked My Disabled Son and Spread Lies About Us?'
"AITA for Refusing to Attend My Sister's Wedding After She Trash Talked My Disabled Son and Spread Lies About Us?"
Pure-Contact4485
I'm feeling really lost right now, and I need some outside perspective. I'm (32F) married to my husband Mike (34M), and we have a beautiful 4-year-old son, Ethan. Ethan was born with cerebral palsy, and while it's been challenging, he’s the love of our lives. We do everything we can to give him the best life possible, and we couldn't imagine life without him.
So here's the situation. My sister Anna (29F) is getting married soon, and I was really looking forward to it. We've always been close—or at least, I thought we were. But recently, I heard from a few family members that Anna has been saying some really horrible things about Ethan and about Mike and me.
At first, I thought there must be some mistake. I mean, how could my own sister say such awful things? But when I asked around, it turned out to be true. Anna was telling people that Ethan is "a burden" on us and that Mike and I were thinking about putting him up for adoption because we "can't handle" him.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This is my son we’re talking about, and not only is that a complete lie, but it's also just... cruel. I confronted Anna, hoping she’d deny it or say it was a joke that got out of hand. But instead, she got defensive and said I was overreacting.
She told me she was "just venting" because she was "worried about me" and that I should "lighten up." She even had the nerve to say that having a disabled child is "too much for anyone" and that I needed to be realistic about what’s best for my family. I just... I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
After that conversation, I told Anna I wouldn’t be coming to her wedding. I couldn’t stand the thought of pretending everything was okay when she’d said such hurtful things about my son.
But now, the rest of my family is piling on, telling me I’m being dramatic and that I should go to the wedding for the sake of family unity. My parents even said that Anna was "just stressed" and that I should "let it go" because "it’s her big day."
Mike is totally on my side and says we shouldn’t go, but I’m starting to doubt myself. Am I really going to tear my family apart over this? But then I think about Ethan and how much we love him.
I feel like going to the wedding would be like saying what Anna did was okay. And it's not. So, AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding after she trash talked my disabled son and spread lies about us? I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Ok-Comparison-55
Currently, you're NTA. But if you attend that wedding you would be a major AH. What she said was disgusting and deplorable. About your child, a child with such a significant medical affliction. She's a horrible person.
Your family are also horrible not only for saying you should let go of what your sister said, but because it sounds like no one shut her down as soon as she uttered those horrible things about your child.
Family unity? Give me a break. They seem like horrible people, so let them be "united" and be horrible together, without you, your husband, and your child. Do NOT attend that wedding. And give your child a big hug, he deserves better extended family.
ProfPlumDidIt
NTA. If your parents actually believed in family unity, they would have stood up for your son. All your parents really care about is your sister and public appearances. You should not only not attend the wedding, you should tell your entire family that you will be going no contact with all of them until they publicly call out your sister for her ableism and shame her for it. Loudly and publicly.
Pure-Contact4485 (OP)
I agree with you thanks so much !!!
Sea_Firefighter_4598
NTA but her fiancé is if he is marrying her after he heard her say those things.
No-Table2410
NTA if you don’t go.
If you fail to stand up for your son against these disgusting people, “family” or not, then you should consider yourself a failure as a mother.
Pale_Willingness1882
Pretty sure I read this exact story the other day…
TatraPoodle
Get evidence and roast her, preferably on her wedding day.
MitaJoey20
This is a repost of another post, except it was the brother’s wedding and Ethan (didn’t even change the name) was 6 and not 4. Kudos for changing the plot and instead of “sister” being afraid of losing the attention at her wedding, this sister is worried about you.
Turmeric_Ping
NTA. I wouldn't go either. What she said was disgusting. It's not you tearing your family apart, it's your sister who has spoken about your child in a way that makes it impossible to be around her.
Your family attempting to paper over the cracks is unacceptable and, regardless of what you do, their behaviour will tend, in her mind, to validate her behaviour and embolden her to double down. Ask your family why your toxic sister is entitled to more love and support than your disabled son?
Helpful_Librarian_87
Anna can suck eggs on ‘her special day’ and so can anyone else who says shit to you. Have a fun weekend somewhere with your husband & child. Take tons of photos as well.
KickOk5591
NTA, tell your family if they think what she said about a disabled family member was disgusting they shouldn't attend either. Because even if you don't go people will ask questions and they will be told one version and then another.