'AITA for refusing to give my cousin my emergency fund even though he needs it?' UPDATED

"AITA for not giving my cousin my 'emergency fund'?"

I (24f) am a bit paranoid when it comes to money. I didn't grow up in poverty, but times are tough and the idea of living paycheck to paycheck makes me uncomfortable.

It's important to mention that now I have a stable, good paying job, but I struggled a lot during college, since my parents weren't able to save enough for my college fund, so I worked shitty jobs and I was constantly exhausted during those years. I still ended up in some debt and I want to be free of it asap. It's also important to mention that I come from a pretty religious family.

When I landed this job I decided to start an "emergency fund": I put aside a few hundred dollars every month so, in case anything happens(I get sick, I lose my job, etc) I will not end up in more debt or even worse.

The only people that know about it are my sister(who also plans to start her own emergency fund after she graduates and lands a good job) and I. I 100% trust my sister, so I think my aunt or someone else overheard us talking about it.

Now the issue is: my cousin's(22m) gf(22f) is pregnant and they decided to keep it even tho they know damn well they can't afford it(none of them has a stable job, inheritance, anything). A few days ago he came to ask me to give him my emergency fund, since he is having an emergency.

I was speechless. I asked him what was he talking about(even tho I knew, but I couldn't believe someone can have this audacity). He told me he knew I have some savings and he desperately needs them. He didn't even mention giving the money back!

I told him those are MY savings, for when I am having an emergency, but he pulled the family helps family card. I still said no. While I understand they are in a difficult situation, I still think it's not fair that I am asked to pay for his mistakes.

I told him they should think more about what they are going to do in the future and how are they going to support this child if none of them has a stable income and, even if I give them my savings, those money are enough for only a few months(for me; for a family of three, even less).

I did not mention abortion, adoption or anything, just that they are irresponsible for having a kid when none of them is financially stable. He eventually left me alone, but started to tell the rest of the family that I told him to get rid of the baby, which is not true at all. My parents and my sister are on my side, but the rest of the family started harassing us and calling me a godless b***. So, AITA for keeping my savings?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

llamalei said:

NTA. His lack of planning is not your emergency.

CaroSCP said:

If his family think you are so awful, why aren't they handing over their own cash?!

OP responded:

Idk if anyone else besides my parents has any savings and I don't want to bring this up because I'm afraid I may give them another reason to harass me.

[deleted] said:

NTA and far from it. If you give him money he'll probably come back asking for more.

You earned your money. His child is not your burden and not your problem.

smeghead9916 said:

NTA, it's not even an emergency, he can get a job now and start saving.

carbinePRO said:

Why is your cousin entitled to YOUR emergency fund to make up for HIS poor life planning and irresponsibility?

You don't owe him anything. The best way to help him wouldn't be giving him handouts, but offering to help buy some baby necessities like clothes, diapers, a crib, etc. But that's only if you want to. NTA

Gypsy-Nyx said:

Op NTA. Im a bit surprised that your 'pretty religious family' didn't give your cousin an ear full for get his gf pregnant, since they are not married yet.

If he couldn't afford a kid then he should of kept it in his pants.

It is your money, not his... family help family is fine but what he is asking is for you to support him financially, and if he gets this hand out, he'll be back caues you got a good paying job.

OP responded:

Thank you. They actually were a bit upset with him for getting her pregnant before marriage and I suspect this is why he lied about me suggestion an abortion, he tried to give them another person to judge. If this was the case, it worked 100%.

She later shared this update:

Sorry for disappearing just after I posted this. I had a hard time dealing with my extended family. Anyway, for a few days I tried to explain to them that he lied about me suggesting an abortion, but it was in vain. Nobody believes me.

My cousin's gf reached out to me and said she didn't know he was planning to ask me to give him money, but she also believes I suggested an abortion and doesn't want anything to do with me from now on.

Even tho it was hard to accept the fact that the family I respected so much turned against me over a lie, in the end I pretty much cut contact with most of them. I will stay away from this at least for a while. Thank you all for all the support and kind words. You are amazing.