'AITA for remotely locking my husband out of the car to teach him a lesson?'
"AITA for remotely locking my husband out of the car to teach him a lesson?"
My husband has a horrible habit of leaving keys in the car. He claims he started doing it after he lost keys on a few occasions and it was just easier to know where they’d be. I’ve told him before that is a really bad idea and encouraged him to stop, got him those little tags that’ll tell you where you left your keys, etc.
He continued to do it until he ended up getting his car stolen. Insurance barely paid enough for him to get a new car and it wasn’t anywhere near as nice as the other. I thought he had learned his lesson as he seemingly stopped leaving the keys behind.
His car was getting serviced one day, so I let him borrow mine. I get a notification on the app a little while later, telling me the car was unlocked. Thinking maybe my husband just forgot to lock it himself, I tried calling him to go get the keys but he didn’t answer his phone. So, I locked the door using the app.
A couple of hours later, I get a frantic call from my husband saying he can’t get into the car. I ask where the keys are. He says he left them in the car and must have locked the door accidentally. I told him that I locked the door using the app. I then tried to unlock it but it took a few minutes as the app wasn’t working. Finally, the door was unlocked and my husband could get the keys.
He returned home not long after, mad at me for locking the door and saying it’s my fault this happened. I said it was his fault for leaving the keys in the car and he shouldn’t have done that. When I asked why he did it, he said he was afraid of losing my keys. I said I have a backup set of keys (which he also knows about), I care more about the car.
Yes, it has a tracker on it and I have insurance, but that doesn’t mean I want to put myself in that situation where it goes missing. I said going forward he isn’t allowed to use my car. I make the payments out of my own account, just as he pays for his car with his own money. At this point, he can’t be trusted. If he needs a ride, I’ll drive him or he can use a ride share.
My husband is calling me petty and saying that I’m being over-dramatic but I really don’t think I am given he’s continuing to make the same mistakes as before.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA. And you shouldn't have unlocked the car either.
About half the cars that get stolen in Brooklyn are double parked with the keys left in the cars. It's crazy.
NTA. has he heard of a key chain?? a lanyard??? how the heck are you 'over-dramatic' when his idiocy got his car STOLEN. He'd rather lose an entire car than a damn pair of keys!!??!
NTA - your husband is a moron. Men have pockets. Put the key in your pocket. Problem solved. He’s just lazy.
NTA. So I'm going to be really blunt on this: your husband is a dumba$$ who refuses to learn his lesson. Rather than learn to keep track of his keys by wearing them on a lanyard, putting a tracker on them, or doing anything to help himself, he made the dumba$$ decision to leave his keys in the car.
Inevitably, his dumba$$ decision leads to his car being stolen. Everyone and their brain-dead cat could see that would happen, but not the genius you're married to. Does he learn from this expensive mistake?
Nope. He then borrows your keys to your car that you pay for and leaves them in the car. You do the responsible thing of locking the car, and he has a fit because you've secured your vehicle. He then has even more of a fit when you tell his stupid, non-lesson-learning self that you aren't going to allow him to risk your car getting stolen as well.
Your husband is an idiot. He's a grown man who will not take responsibility for his things, and before anyone says it, things like ADHD aren't an excuse. I have ADHD and because I know I can forget things, I have a constant checklist before I leave the house, before I get out of the car, and before I leave a store. I check and double-check that I have my keys, my purse, and my phone.
So, even if your husband had ADHD or similar, it still isn't an excuse. He lost his car and still hasn't learned his lesson, and now he wants to show the same lack of care and respect for your car.