'Selfish' man refuses to donate kidney to teen step brother, 'We have the same blood type.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to donate my kidney?"
I never thought I'd find myself posting here, but the situation I'm in is so bizarre that I need some outside perspective. And also to tell anyone this story.
So, a bit of background: I (29M) have a stepmother (55F) whom I've never really had a close relationship with. We've always kept things civil, but that's about it. Her son, my stepbrother (15M), is practically a stranger to me. We've never really bonded, and our interactions have been minimal at best.
Now, here's where it gets crazy. My stepmother recently approached me with an outrageous request. She asked me to donate my kidney to her son. Yes, you read that right – my kidney, for a kid I barely know. He lives with his father and has a congenital disease that requires a transplant in the short term. I know he has been battling for years, as my stepmother has told me.
Naturally, I was taken aback and asked why on earth she thought I would agree to such a thing. Her reasoning? Apparently, she believes that because we're now part of the same family, I should be willing to make this sacrifice for her son.
To make the situation even more surreal, my stepmother made an odd comment about the longevity and health of my side of the family. According to her, we've always lived until a very old age with no kidney problems, she literally said that we have "great quality organs."
I tried explaining that we don't have any kind of close relationship and that donating a kidney is a major decision with serious consequences. But she wouldn't hear it. According to her, I'm being selfish and heartless for not saving her boy's life.
I know that she is suffering and in distress, but here's the kicker. When I suggested that she could potentially donate the kidney herself, she refused, citing religious reasons and said that because I'm agnostic I shouldn't have that problem. So, not only is she expecting me to make this life-altering sacrifice for her son, but she won't consider doing it herself due to her beliefs.
Probably all this arise because we recently found out that we have the same blood type, making me a compatible donor. Also, a couple of years ago, I may have made a sweeping statement that I would do anything for my family, regardless of how good/bad our relationship was. So AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
notforcommentinohgoo said:
NTA. I get that she's scared for her kid but even so, she's got a nerve and a half. And the religious thing? Wow, just...wow. You can say no with a clear conscience. And you don't need to justify, argue, defend, or explain why.
If you feel compelled to engage with this nonsense somehow, you simply go see the transplant Dr, say you're being coerced, and they return a "No Match" result. Happens all the time.
south3y said:
NTA. But the smart play is to agree to testing, and then tell the psychiatrist screening you that you're only going through this because of emotional blackmail. They'll keep that in confidence and declare you ineligible.
tattoovamp said:
GREAT QUALITY ORGANS?!? No way! Stop! Do not go forward. This lady is nuts.
Tallgurrl said:
NTA. And a very inappropriate request. This very issue is why there are donor lists. An organ donor can not be compelled to donate their organ. It's a major surgery that has potential complications, and no guarantee that you yourself won't need a new kidney at some point.
Prestigious_Gold_585 said:
NTA. You are also extremely unlikely to be a tissue match to donate any organ to her son.
tombiowami said:
NTA Tell her if her religion bars her then take it up with god. This is such a wild story.
rightbutbanned said:
NTA, If her religious beliefs are in her way, she should not make others do something she doesn't believe is right. She's a hypocrite, and obviously doesn't love her own son enough to give him a kidney.