'AITA for telling my brother's fiancée that he stole money from our parents? She's done.'
"AITA for telling my brother's now ex-fiancée the truth about why my parents don't talk to him, which resulted in their break up?"
My parents haven't spoken to my brother in over a decade. This is their choice. They have essentially disowned him. There are multiple reasons that they did this and have refused to speak to him, but there is one massive incident they have not gotten over.
My parents saved up a large amount of money that was to be split between my brother, my sister, and me for our college fund. At the time he was supposed to go to college ten years ago, his share was a little over 60k. My brother faked an acceptance letter and used that to access the money with full understanding that this was for his college education.
He somehow convinced my parents to give him full access to the money as a lump sum. He then used it to invest in a friend's get-rich-quick pyramid scheme business that went under in less than a year. When my parents learned that he didn't even apply to any college and lied to get the money, they cut him off.
Over the years, he's gotten involved in other schemes and still owes his ex-best friend 35k in debt from gambling on alt-crypto coins. All these things have just convinced my parents he is a reckless manipulator, and they essentially pretend he just doesn't exist.
My brother has been trying to put his life together over the past year or so. He met his now ex-fiance a few years ago, and they got engaged three months ago after they found out she was pregnant. I've met her a few times but don't know her very well. My sister and I still talk to our brother occasionally, but we're not close.
A few weeks ago, my brother's ex-fiancee called and asked if I would clarify a few things about our parents. She said she wanted to test the waters to see if she was going to reach out to see if they wanted to have a relationship with their grandchild. I have a suspicion, though, that she wasn't buying the lie my brother was telling her about their relationship.
My brother told his ex-fiancee that my parents had cut him off because he had dropped out of college. She didn't know he actually never went to college and about the money he stole. I corrected that and told her the truth. I knew I kicked the hornet's nest because she ended the conversation quickly after.
I also made the mistake of telling my mom about this conversation because she found my brother's ex-fiancee on Instagram and started talking to her there after I told her. She pretty much gave her every reason to break up with him, and she took her advice and did.
I was conflicted until last night when my brother called me up, furious and screaming. Ex-fiancee has been ghosting my brother since she broke up with him, and last night, she revealed thatshe isn't having the kid, and told him never to talk to her again.
He sounded like he was going off the rails again, and I had to hang up and block his number because of how mad he was. I talked to my sister, and despite not liking him that much, she told me that this was way beyond acceptable on my part. I feel responsible in a way now, and don't know what to think about my actions now.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Sajem said:
NTA. She asked you about your brothers relationship with your parents. There is absolutely no reason in the world why you should lie about that for your brother.
WillSayAnything said:
NTA your brother's ex deserved to know the type of man she was dealing with and she made a smart decision. You really should be going NC with your brother and probably LC with your sister. I bet your sister would be singing a different tune if she found herself in a situation similar to your brother's ex.
SaltyDangerHands said:
Dude lied to his fiance and got caught lying, what part of that is your fault? NTA. Liars, family or not, don't deserve cover or protection or sympathy. That's it. F-ck around, find out. If he hadn't of lied then nothing you said would have been news.
round_robin959903 said:
NTA. He lied and still had major debts he wasn't telling his ex-fiancee about. Those are huge things he lied about. She asked. It's not like you sought her out. You just didn't lie.
Blonde2468 said:
NTA. Would you feel better if she married your brother and then he left her and his child penniless 6 months down the road?? You made the right choice, so did your mother and so did his fiancee. Actions have consequences, even years later.
ladypoe1207-0824 said:
NTA. Does your sister truly think it was better for you to lie to this girl and basically baby trap her into a relationship with your brother for the next 18+ years? Because that's essentially what you would have been doing if you lied to her and she found out later on that she missed her chance to make a clean break from him.
BigNathaniel69 said:
NTA, he had the chance to be honest to his Fiancé, he didn’t. She asked you a question and you told her the truth. It seems your brother is not actually trying to put his life together and is still a lying manipulator.