'My SIL was neglecting a baby she was babysitting- I told his mom and now my life might be miserable for a while.' AITA + UPDATE
"My SIL was neglecting a baby she was babysitting- I told his mom and now my life might be miserable for a while."
I have a 10 month old boy, my SIL has a 9 month old boy. My SIL called yesterday and asked if her, her boyfriend(not her son’s dad), her baby, and the baby she was babysitting (Baby Z)could come stop by the house just for a minute. I said oh sure we’d love some cousin time!
I made some baby friendly snacks for the kids and then they showed up soon after. Now when they came in she sat her son, and baby Z in their car seats still. Now within 2 minutes she pulled her son out of his car seat. She left baby Z in his car seat.
She had this baby sitting in his car seat for 40 minutes before I said hey guys this baby smells like he has a dirty diaper and he’s getting fussy. I was already pissed they were leaving this baby in his car seat and not letting him out to play with the other babies.
For the next 20 minutes her and her boyfriend argued back and forth saying “I’m not changing this baby, you do it”. Just bickering about who’s gonna change this little baby’s diaper that they were both getting paid to watch!!!
I was livid and so glad I’ve never let them keep my son before and knew they would neverrrr watch my son just from watching this interaction. I ended up pulling this boy from his car seat and changing his diaper and getting him a new outfit.
Baby Z had blood blisters on his butt and I had to put him In the bath to get the caked up poop off because I didn’t want to scrub it with wipes since I knew it had to be so sore. I knew the babies mother but haven’t really had any conversations with her. Just knew her from around town.
I stepped outside and called her on Facebook to tell her the situation. I said I would keep him here with me if she felt more comfortable with it since SIL and her boyfriend were straight up neglecting this baby.
His mom thanked me and said she’d really appreciate it and she would come to my house to pick him up and pay me what they were supposed to pay SIL. I walked back in and they were getting ready to leave.
I told SIL I had just talked with the babies mom and she’d feel better if he was left with me and my son. I told her go ahead and call her to double check but her and her boyfriend were not leaving with the baby.
SIL has trashed me to every family member she can think of. She’s made a Facebook post about how I thrive off drama and creating rumors about her. I’ve had my husband's other sister ride by my house yelling slurs and throwing eggs at my house last night.
I’ve never ever been in a situation like this before where I was just witnessing straight up neglecting of a child. I feel I should have acted sooner and it’s making my stomach turn.
I hate hate drama but our small town really thrives off of it. I’m not sure if I should just ignore these people? Or if I should stand up and tell people what really happened and out SIL to the town.
Edit to add: the babies mother IS making a post today to out SIL- with receipts of the incident. I’m waiting for that and hoping coming from the babies mother it would actually be heard and believed.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s initial post:
Tell everyone. The truth shall set you free.
WTH stuff I never understand... Have you actually spoke to his family/the people giving you abuse that she was neglecting the child? Because who the hell can defend her?
Virtual-Leather-1241 (OP)
His other sister doesn’t believe me. His mom is just defending the behavior. The only person who actually believes so far is my husband! My husband said he’s speaking with some of his family today to try and clear up the situation. So I’ll know later today how that goes.
Your husbands family sounds… well like they suck. Have they always been this awful?
Virtual-Leather-1241 (OP)
They do suck. I would already never allow his mom or dad to watch our baby. His mom is a crackhead- who also neglected my husband and his siblings. And his dad is an alcoholic who beat my husband and his siblings.
My BIL is in prison for abusing his baby and babies mother. I genuinely believed my 2 SIL were some of the decent people in the family. This situation has opened my eyes to the fact that is not the case!
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
So I posted yesterday about my SIL neglecting a baby she was babysitting. I see a lot of people wanted to see an update after the babies mom shared a post to our SIL to the town.
Well she shared it with really disturbing images of what the baby’s bottom looked like- she also tagged me in it so anybody on my friends list would see it as well. My SIL is still fuming and believes I should have just kept my mouth shut, my other SIL has went from not believing me at all to defending her sister, husbands mother is still defending the behavior.
My husband has made it known to his family if they are mad at ME then they are also mad at HIM! He’s cut all contact with his sisters and mother. He told me he was really just waiting for a legitimate reason to cut them out of our lives and this was the right scenario. He doesn’t want his kids raised around people who defend child abuse and child neglect.
The babies mother also filed a report with CPS and the police. She’s hoping maybe she would get convicted cuz then with a negligence charge on her she definitely would never get a job working with children.
I have filed a report for the egging of my house. We don’t have any cameras so there’s really no proof. The police in our county really let a lot of things go-so I’m not holding my breath that anything will actually be done. I’ve come to terms with this.
I’m sad my son won’t have a close relationship with his cousins anymore but im hoping maybe with cps and cops involved they will take a look in her home and keep her accountable for taking care of her own son.
My real friends and my family are 100% on my side. I guess this was a good thing. My SIL won’t be trusted by anybody in this town to be anyone’s babysitter. And it had weeded out all the bad people me and my husband shouldn’t be close with anyway. Anybody who will defend a child abuser is not anybody we’d want in our circle anyway.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s update:
So glad you did something!!! Child abusers are so messed up, I'd be excited to cut them out of my life too!!
I don’t understand. Even neglecting a baby for several hours wouldn’t cause blood or blisters on a baby. That would be from days of neglect and not washing, which would fold over into the time the mother had the child. Did SIL have this child for several days?
> throwing eggs at my house
In *this* economy?
I did not think blood blisters showed up after just a few hours either! But every baby is different and some are super sensitive! Read comments on yesterday post and a lot of mothers and grandmas have babies with sensitive skin or food allergies and get bad rashes.
I’m not sure if the baby already had a poopy diaper when they showed up and he was sitting in it the whole time- or if he did it while sitting in his car seat. The way it was dried and caked on there makes me think it had to have been on there before he ever showed up!
I'm glad someone did the right thing by informing the mother of the sitter's incompetence. Now we all get to await the inevitable update regarding the potential CPS investigation, and perhaps the aftermath.