'I’ve loved you since the wedding': Loopy SIL's surgery confession shocks family. AITA?
"My SIL told me she was in love with me… while under anesthesia."
Okay, I seriously need to get this off my chest because I don’t even know what to think. My sister-in-law recently had a minor surgery and I was the one who ended up picking her up from the hospital because my wife (her sister) had an important work commitment.
Everything seemed totally normal, I brought her some flowers, we chatted a bit while waiting for discharge, and then the nurse wheeled her out.
Now for some context:
She’s divorced and has two kids. I’ve always had a cordial, easygoing relationship with her. Nothing flirty, never any weird vibes. She’s had a rough couple of years, but she’s been holding it together really well, at least outwardly.
Anyway, once she was out of surgery, she was very loopy from the anesthesia. Slurring her words, giggling, pointing at trees and asking why they looked “so spongey”, the usual hilarious post-op stuff.
Then, out of nowhere, as I was helping her into the car, she turned to me, looked me straight in the eye (or at least tried to), and said: “I’ve been in love with you since the wedding.”
At first I laughed, thinking it was just drugged-up nonsense. But then she started crying. Like, real emotional sobbing. Saying she didn’t mean to ruin anything, and she always wished the best for me and her her sister, that she’s tried to get over it, but she can’t.
I was kind of shocked. I just mumbled something like “It’s okay, let’s get you home” and tried to redirect the conversation. She passed out again five minutes into the drive.
A couple days later, she’s totally back to normal. No memory of what happened, acting completely casual. Meanwhile, I’m walking around with this weird bombshell in my head.
So now I’m stuck wondering: Was it just anesthesia-induced babbling, or should I take it seriously? Should I ever tell my wife what she said? Or do I just pretend this never happened?
It’s been messing with my head. I feel awkward around her now and I’m not sure what to do with this information.
Any advice?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
It was anesthesia induced babbling. My husband picked me up after a minor procedure at age 50 and I was calling him by his step-brother's name. I hadn't seen his step bro in almost 40 years at that point.
She probably confessed her sloppy love to the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and the post-surgical recovery nursing staff, as well. It's the anesthesia. Source: frequent flyer in OR recovery.
there's no such thing as truth serum. Anesthesia drugs alter your brain. You can't trust anything they say.
I see no benefit to bringing it up with either your wife or her sister (who may not even remember what she said to you). Just make sure in the future you don’t do anything that could be misconstrued as encouraging her attention.
No benefit at all. It might be how she feels, it might be just anesthesia induced loopy. Act like it never happened but yeah be careful you aren’t doing or saying anything to encourage feelings. If she ever brings it up later (not under anesthetic) then address it.
She was loopy from the drugs and was grateful to you for picking her up. That’s all it was. Take this incident to your grave with you. I can remember saying something incredible embarrassing coming down off some medical drugs. It wasn’t remotely true and I am very glad no one I am close to heard it. Take it to your grave.
I said some weird shit under anesthesia and none of it was remotely how I actually felt. Apparently I professed my love for the doctor several times throughout the ordeal. I have no memory of it but the doctor was 83 so I know for sure it was just the drugs talking.
As my husband was coming out of anesthesia, he confessed to me that he assassinated JFK. He was dead serious and really emotional about it. He had a whole story behind it, how he was paid off by the CIA.
It would have been really convincing, but considering he was barely a year old at that time, I have my doubts. Take her drug-induced rambling with a grain of salt. It's not worth worrying about unless she says it again while sober.
Are you sure she realized who she was talking to when she said that? She was under heavy drugs, and she is a divorced woman who may have been thinking of her failed marriage. Have you ever gotten any kind of signals/vibes from her?
There’s a reason we tell patients not to sign any legal documents, go online shopping or make any major decisions for 24 hours after anesthesia. It messes with your brain. Whilst there may or may not be any truth to what she said, it’s unlikely that any good could come of revisiting it.
Do you plan to leave your wife for the sister? Do you plan to start an affair with the sister? Seriously, you’re looking at nothing but grief and upset if you don’t drop this immediately and move on.