Man calls 'spoiled' sister an 'inflexible bridezilla' over wedding theme; AITA?

Planning a wedding can often unearth years of family drama, but what happens when your brother is more invested in your wedding theme than you are?

Part of being a supportive family member of a bride is helping them achieve their wedding goals, even if you might not be a fan of a unicorn-themed roller rink wedding in the middle of January.

So, when a conflicted brother decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his sister's wedding plans, people were dying to deem a juicy verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my sister that I don't care about how her wedding turns out?

My (29M) sister (26F) has always been incredibly spoiled. It’s always her way or the highway, so I knew that when she got engaged she would be a handful. Her wedding is coming up in about a year and she has already started planning.

She sat us all down (my mother, father, and my other sister) and told us what they had decided for the theme. Now personally, I think it’s a little tacky to put a theme on the wedding, but it’s not my wedding, so I held my tongue. Her theme was nature, and this was applied to everything.

She wanted a “floral lace dress,' succulents as favors, and for the ceremony to take place in a greenhouse. Again, tacky, but not my wedding, so I didn’t say anything. The issue arose when it came time to talk about the reception venue.

She said that she wanted it to be outdoors in one of those huge event tents with windows so that we could be in nature. My whole family hated this idea. An outdoor reception just seems very cheap and not at all classy. We suggested that she go with something a little more classic, like an event venue, but she had her mind set.

I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it.

At first, I tried to go easy on her by telling her that themed weddings are just a fad and if she commits to her theme so heavily, she’ll look back on it in 20 years and cringe, and that it’s better to choose something timeless, like a simpler dress and a hotel ballroom.

I said that she could definitely incorporate flowers into the centerpieces and decorations if she wanted, but to have the whole wedding centered around plants and flowers just seemed like too much.

Never one to take advice, my sister just said that she’s sorry we feel that way but her and her fiancé have wanted this for their wedding for years and they spent a lot of time coming up with the details together, and they wanted their wedding to “reflect their personalities and who they are as a couple”, and she didn’t think my timeless suggestions would be able to do that.

Here’s where I might be the as*hole: I kind of let my frustration get the better of me and said “Fine, I don’t care if your wedding turns out to be tacky. I knew you were going to be an inflexible bridezilla anyway.'

I do think that she was being too rigid and just thinking about what she would like instead of what her family and guests would prefer, but my parents say that it’s my sister’s wedding and that it wasn’t cool to say that I didn’t care. AITA?

Yikes...can this brother hear himself? Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this wedding drama. Here's what people had to say...

JudgeJudAITA said:

YTA. Can you back up to the part where you explain why your desire to sit in a ballroom trumps what the couple wants on their own wedding?

Turbulent_Message637 said:

YTA. There is nothing wrong with her theme. It’s not your wedding so your preferences are irrelevant. One persons tacky is another person’s treasure. There is nothing “timeless”about your basic af suggestions.

Hellonyanko said:

How is “ballroom” more timeless than “nature?' Why is her wedding being workshopped by this AH committee? YTA.

BallLightTree said:

Yeah, you're TA. You sound a bit spoiled as well. It's her wedding, she has the right to do what she wants. You and your family can suggest, but getting upset when she goes in her own direction is selfish.

CrystalQueen3000 said:

YTA. A nature “theme” isn’t really a theme, it’s a style of wedding. It’s not like she wants everyone to turn up as Disney characters.

capmanor1755 said:

YTA. There's someone who's rigid and inflexible here and it's not your sister.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this brother is laughably in the wrong. Clearly he needs to take a step back, research was a 'bridezilla' actually means, and then properly diagnose himself as a brozilla.

An outdoor wedding with florals is hardly a 'cringe' theme--if anything that is a more timeless aesthetic than most trendy event spaces. Good luck to this bride on sticking to her vision!