Background info: My husband and I (24f&m) have been married for 2 years. I am a social worker, and my husband works as an electrician. We own a 3 bed 2 bath together. We have our bedroom, our home office, and a guest bedroom.
My states foster care system is one of the worst in the country. There isn’t anywhere close to enough foster homes to meet the total number of children in care. As a result of this, children often get stuck at hospitals, psych facilities, group homes, etc.
Often times we have children that have to sleep at the CPS facility in sleeping bags on the floor because there’s just no where for them to go. It’s very common for social workers to bring children home with them, myself included. It’s hard to find emergency placements for siblings, so if I can’t find a place for them for the night to keep them together, I will often just bring them home with me.
My husband and I are child free, but he’s super supportive of this. So our guest bedroom has two twin beds, both with pull out beds underneath. This means that I can give four children their own beds for the night.
Earlier this year my husband's brother and his wife were temporarily homeless. They lost their jobs, and couldnt renew their lease. They had to scramble to find new jobs and a place to live. We let them stay with us for two months. I didn’t really want to, but it was the right thing to do.
They were very pissed about the two twin beds thing. Because of the way the bed frames are, you cannot push the beds together. And the room is a little small and oddly shaped, so you can’t fit a queen air mattress in the room without taking the twin beds out.
We don’t have a garage, so there would be nowhere to put the beds. They wanted me to get rid of the beds or put them in a storage unit, so they could put a queen air mattress in the room.
I refused because I didn’t want to go through all that trouble when they shouldn’t be staying for long anyways. I worked hard to get the room to look a way that I feel is welcoming to kids, and I don’t want to change it.
I didn’t tell them this, but I also didn’t want them to get too comfortable with the room because I didn’t want them to be tempted to stay for any longer than necessary. I would rather house kids in unstable situations than my ungrateful in-laws.
My husband took my side and told them to get a hotel if they don’t like it, but otherwise shut up. He said that if they keep complaining they’ll have to leave. He’s a good husband. My in-laws have been telling everyone who will listen that were assholes who made them sleep in kid beds.
My husband has been telling his whole family to f off basically, and don’t talk to us unless you have something nice to say. AITA? There’s like a dozen people who think we’re aholes so I’d like some judgement.
convulsionso said
NTA. Your house, your rules. The guest room is set up to serve an incredibly noble and practical purpose, providing a safe place for foster kids in emergencies. You didn’t owe your in-laws anything, yet you still gave them a place to stay when they were struggling. Instead of being grateful, they acted entitled and demanded you completely upend your space to cater to their comfort.
Lage194712 said:
They're far too entitled to free housing. The kids deserve the space more, and if anyone disagrees, they can take them in. Unreal entitlement!
GingerbreadWitch_878 said:
NTA. They’re awfully picky for people who were homeless. Do they know that decent people usually express gratitude to those who have helped them? Because it seems like they missed that lesson.
TarzanKitty said:
NTA. The only people who get to decorate your home are the people paying the mortgage. Tell them that if your accommodations are not up to their standards. They might be more comfortable in an Airbnb.
Clean_Factor9673 said:
NTA. They wanted a Queen because they planned to freeload forever.
Love_Katy_ said:
NTA, seriously...you’re doing a good thing by having those beds for kids in need. Your in-laws are being ungrateful and entitled. They should be thankful you even let them stay.