'WIBTA for speaking sternly & candidly to my sister for returning my mother's Christmas gift?'
"WIBTA for speaking sternly & candidly to my sister for returning my mother's Christmas gift?"
My parents got divorced a decade ago and my mother took sole custody of the children and took up a full-time job in retail to support both my brother and sister while they were in high school. My dad is completely out of the picture both financially and paternally, as he now lives in another country and doesn't speak to anyone.
I know my sister very well though. She makes even the simplest of things into a taxing chore. And a number of years ago she went on record a repeated number of times saying that she shouldn't have to get our mother Christmas presents (but that Mom should still have to get her a gift because she's our mom and she can afford it). Our mother always gets her kids expensive gifts...
I thought the statement from my sister was ridiculous then, and I think it's even more ridiculous now given that my sister is well & truly an established adult with a full-time job.
But I reached out to my brother and asked if he wanted to go halves in getting our mother Christmas gifts (and he had absolutely no issue with this). So every year, my brother and I get our mother extravagant gifts, because we know Mom is going to get us all extravagant gifts regardless... And it's become a yearly tradition.
Yes, this also means that for years my sister has been receiving extravagant gits as an adult from my mother (despite not getting Mom or anyone else any gifts ever).
Nobody has ever said anything to my sister because we all know how difficult and turbulent and dogmatic of a person she is. But it's basically led to my sister expecting $500 gifts from our mother every year because she believes everyone else is getting $500 just because.
Anyway, this year, my mother had a friend who had just purchased a $500 Mix Master but decided they didn't need it and were happy to sell it to my mom for $90. And since this is obviously an amazing bargain and my sister is now into cooking and setting up her new home with her boyfriend my mom thought this was too good of a deal to pass up. So she got my sister a $500 Mix Master for $90.
Christmas day arrived (it was meant to be a lunch). And then my sister shoots an arbitrary text saying they're spending it with her boyfriend's family and won't be over until 6 PM (when everyone would be going home). So we all opened our gifts without our sister...
And then she finally rocked up around 6 PM to collect her gift and then left shortly after.
The next day she texted my mom asking for the receipt so she could return it and get something else (my mom got this from her friend so there is no receipt). So this put my mom in an awkward position. Now the Mix Master is up on marketplace for $400.
And I'm just sitting here thinking: You have to be pretty dumb to complain about the gifts you get every year when you don't get anyone else anything. And now my mom doesn't want to get her anything anymore...
Let's see what readers thought:
aag8 writes:
Your mom is an adult. Presumably she has noticed the pattern of your sister expecting gifts and giving nothing in return. Mom is free to continue giving high-ticket gifts, to give lower cost gifts, or to stop giving your sister gifts altogether. You should stay out of it. Your sister is a buttface for her attitude, but this is not your fight.
feath23 writes:
Mom should ask for the gift back. What your sister did is just rude! I know it’s between your Mom and sister and once a gift is given the receiver can do whatever they want with it but still. If I were Mom I probably would never spend the time or money to get her anything other than a lump of coal but that’s me and she’s not my child. I feel bad for your Mom and she must be so disappointed in the person your sister has grown up to be.
plag2 writes:
Why wouldn't you just tell your sister that you get your mom gifts? Yes, she should know without being told that it's common courtesy and she should do it, but I don't understand why you guys wouldn't just tell her so she has all the information.