'AITA for staying in the delivery room with my stepdaughter even though she didn't want me in there?'
"AITA for staying in the delivery room with my stepdaughter even though she didn't want me in there?"
I'm 60M and I am married to my beautiful wife Mary-Kate 55M. We have been married for 15 years. My wife has a daughter, and 2 sons from a previous relationship. Her daughter Kacy (28F) went into labor last week on the 10th and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
When we were at the hospital Kacy made it very clear before the birth and days before the 10th she only wanted her husband in the room and everyone else could wait outside and come in to see the baby after the birth.
I had talked to Kacy in private about it and discussed my views that it should be the woman's parents in the room and the husband could be outside. She had got an attitude with me and refuted back saying it was her decision and that she didn't have time to deal with the stress of this and to please just respect her wishes. I told her fine and that I was sorry just to avoid any arguments.
When we were at the hospital and waiting outside in this area I had told the family I was going to use the bathroom and left when in reality I went to the room to see Kacy. When I came in she was pushing and at first didn't see me because her eyes closed and her husband gave me a look and mouthed "what the EFF".
When I went to the other side to hold her other hand and wipe her forehead her eyes opened and she was furious and began squeezing my hand hard while she was pushing.
Fast forward to when the baby is out she starts screaming at me and telling the nurses to kick me out and to not let me back in. Which is what they did. It was the same time the rest of the family was coming in the room and I had to explain to my wife what happened and she was annoyed.
Ever since the 10th Kacy has been more distant towards me and hasnt talked to me as much when she calls her mother. I feel bad but I was just being supportive. AITAH for just wanting to be in the room with her?
Edit 1 (4/19/25): I believe I have to make this edit so people understand. I am the baby's grandpa meaning I am allowed to be there during the birth. I did not cause any trouble either by being in the room. I held her hand and rubbed her face as the baby was coming out of her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
It reminds me of when my good friend had her daughter. She was in the hospital and was having a hard time getting the baby to latch on. Her husband was tersly giving her instructions on how to breastfeed because he'd read a book about it so of course had superior knowledge. That guy.
NTA. Clearly the baby's fault.
Every single step daughter in the world wants her mother's husband near her exposed genitals, and with her asking for it by not asking for it, by actually asking for him to not come in , was basically demanding that he get all up him there. I'm shaking I'm so mad at this guy.
Yes you are the A. She stated her wishes. You disagreed with your adult daughter and insisted your presence be there based on YOUR beliefs. Regardless of your adult daughter's expressed wishes you defined them and placed yourself in the room against her will. All of the above makes you the A. Yes.
You’re not the angel, but you are the AH…a massive, intrusive AH with zero respect or consideration for others. If you were my stepfather, I would go very low contact with you.
You are not an angel. I can not believe how you dare to go against your stepdaughter's wishes and show no respect. How dare you?
You're the biggest weirdo AH in the world.
RevolutionDue4452 (OP)
How am I a weirdo?
Yes. Huge rude intrusive insensitive AH.
You're an ever bigger AH if you really need to ask.
They don't have caps big enough to convey this properly, so imagine them being 10' tall. YTA. It's HER body, HER baby, HER cooch hanging out, HER DECISION. This would be IT for me. You would never be allowed near me, my home, my child ever again. Y. T. AH!
You had no right to be there. The mother decides who she wants with her. You seem to be quite the arrogant person to impose yourself on such an intimate moment. I doubt your relationship will ever be the same. I would never forgive or forget.
Being the grandpa means you might be permitted to be in the vicinity when the baby is born. It does not give you the right. You’re not the parent. This not your child. You were told to stay out. It may be a long, long time before they’ll let you around the baby. YTA.
You crossed so many lines. I would never speak to you again, you invaded her privacy at her most vulnerable moments. You suck!
WTF dude, she was explicit about not wanting you in there. You completely betrayed her. Good luck salvaging that relationship.
You are TA......since the mother of the baby told you not to be there you should have respected her wishes..... it's creepy and borderline stalking....I wouldn't want my father to be in the room while I gave birth ..... it's disgusting and creepy..... it's good you didn't insist on being in the same room while she was trying to conceive.