Teen mom brings her toddler to a child-free wedding, 'I was completely taken aback.' AITA?
"AITA for bringing my daughter to a child-free wedding?"
Hi everyone. I’m a 19-year-old mom to my beautiful 2-year-old daughter, Amelia. Just a bit of backstory: last year, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a family friend’s wedding.
I was thrilled and immediately said yes, even though it was a child-free event. I had arranged for a babysitter, but about a week before the wedding, she informed me that she would no longer be in the city and couldn’t watch my daughter.
Given the short notice, I approached the bride and asked if I could bring Amelia to the wedding, as I didn’t have time to find another trusted babysitter. My daughter is overall a very easygoing baby—she’s comfortable with people and happy as long as she’s fed.
The bride knew this since she’d watched my daughter on multiple occasions before, and she happily agreed, saying that having Amelia there would make the wedding photos even more special.
The wedding was going smoothly, though I noticed a few stares from the groom’s parents. Amelia stayed with my sisters for most of the day, but during the reception, I took her with me to congratulate the couple. As I approached with Amelia in my arms, the groom’s mother suddenly commented, “You shouldn’t have brought a baby to a child-free wedding, especially when she doesn’t fit the family.”
I was completely taken aback. For context, my daughter is mixed—I’m half white and half Hispanic, and her father is Black. I’ve been called “white-washed” because I’m not in contact with my Hispanic family, so I knew exactly what she meant by saying my daughter didn’t “fit the family.”
The bride looked shocked, and the groom immediately stood up and led his parents away. Taking this as my cue, I decided it was time to leave. I made the rounds to say goodbye to everyone and put Amelia in her stroller. As I was leaving, the bride came over to apologize for her in-laws’ behavior. I was upset, but I knew it wasn’t her fault, so I simply wished her luck and left.
Now, about a week after the wedding, I got tagged in a Facebook post—strange, because I don’t use Facebook. The post read: “I’m outraged that my grandchildren weren’t allowed at this event, but when a teen mother who couldn’t be responsible enough to leave her child with the father brings her baby, it’s perfectly fine.”
The post was from the groom’s mother. To make things worse, she’s also been telling family members that I’m lying about what she said regarding my daughter’s appearance. So now I’m wondering, am I the ahole?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ambitioso said:
NTA. Sounds like the groom's mother was upset by the 'no kids' policy and wrongly took it out on you...it also sounds like the groom's mother is a dimwitted racist dingus.
duke113 said:
NTA. Bride said it was ok. And groom apparently agreed based on the fact he took his parents out of the situation. Those are the *only* two people who get a say.
booboo773 said:
NTA. You had child care that backed out. You cleared it with the bride who had no problem with it. This is absolutely none of the mother’s business. I’m also guessing the child free rule was probably set because of mother of groom’s grandchildren.
Expert-Bus9720 said:
NAH, but if I was the mil I would have been upset. The kids who are related to the groom were not allowed to attend while some kid who is not related to the bride was allowed.
Ok-CANACHK said:
YTA especially since you put the bride on the spot by asking. it is YOUR job to find a sitter or not go to child free events, yo asked the bride & she said yes, but you never should have made YOUR child care any one else's problem.
Taking just one baby to a child free event causes everyone that didn't bring kids to wonder why that baby is here but mine aren't. If you had better manners, you would know this. & where was the father of this child?
Lily_0601 said:
YTA. All of the added context aside, you shouldn't have brought a toddler to a child free wedding and put the bride and groom in this situation. It seems that you've added the terrible context of the inlaws to soften your move but you're still in the wrong.
ZapatillaLoca said:
YTA, what part of "child-free wedding" didn't you understand?? You opened up a Pandoras box of resentment among family members who respected the request while you selfishly paraded your child in everyone's face because your babysitter backed out. Should have stayed home, sent your regrets, the way responsible grown up people do.