Teenage girl disgusted with younger sister's pregnancy; baffled when sis reveals second 'horrifying plot twist.' AITA? MAJOR UPDATE.
When this teenage girl is angry with her younger sister for getting pregnant and then shocked by what her sister does after she confronts her, she asks Reddit:
"My sister is having a baby, and I have never been more upset?AITA?"
My sister (13F) and I (15F) have never had a good relationship with each other. We'd argue, fight, everything like that. My parents are extremely tired of it, but cannot afford to live in a bigger place. That is upsetting, but nothing compared to my problem now.
My sister came to me yesterday and announced she was pregnant. At thirteen years old. Wow. I didn't believe her at first. She had a tendency to lie for attention, so my first thought was that she was trying to get a reaction out of me. I said she's not pregnant.
That she's too young, and shouldn't even be having sex at her age to begin with. But she insisted, so I decided to drop it and move along with my day. That was until I overheard a conversation between my mother and my sister.
My mother was talking to my sister (who from now on, I'll call Sofia) about how to avoid unwanted pregnancies in the future. Oh my God. I could not believe what I was hearing.
But, I didn't let it get to me. As irresponsible and stupid as she was, this wouldn't mean anything later. I thought she wasn't keeping the baby. I might be wrong.
You see, my mother has had a hard time with her pregnancies. She miscarried when she was 18/19 years old. I'd imagine it was a traumatic experience for her. I mean, I'd never be the same if it happened to me. But she texted my sister, asking her to keep the baby. In exchange, she'd buy her a new iPhone.
I thought Sofia would be a moron to take that offer. Ruin her future for what, a phone? Really? But Sofia came to me, and told me about what my mom said. I told her the truth: it's a stupid offer, and we have no room for a baby.
So, here's some background information. I live in Ontario, Canada. We are in the middle of a huge housing crisis. Houses are ridiculously expensive, making larger households even more unaffordable.
As such, my sister and I have had to share a room with each other for the past 6 or so years. The room is cramped, with no space to add any more furniture. We were hardly able to fit two beds and two dressers into the room. Adding a third person, especially a newborn baby, would be insane.
And I didn't tell her this part, but my sister would be a horrible, awful parent. She has massive anger issues. She picks fights with everyone she knows. It got so bad that the police had come to our apartment multiple times because she was sending bomb threats.
I have bruises on my body from her whipping me with an electrical cord because I was voice chatting with my friends on Discord at 4pm, which was "too loud because she's watching TikTok".
So, what would she do to a poor baby who won't stop crying? Whip it too? The thought of it makes me sick.
And what would happen if she had twins? I might just go insane if we had two babies to deal with. And I know I'd be stuck with most of the parenting.
My mother hates babies (yet wants my sister to have one?), and couldn't even take proper care of me as an infant. If I cried, she'd feed me and hope I shut up. And that's... Not exactly how babies work.
So, knowing my family's opinion on babies and my sister's lack of income. I'm the next person to take responsibility for an infant. I'm trying to get a new part-time job to save up for university, but I very often throw 75% of my paycheque for myself, to afford funner things, like snacks or video games.
I would not be surprised (but very disappointed) if my family wanted me to pay for baby supplies and start taking care of the child. And I don't want that. I want to have children with a future partner, when I'm done uni and have a full time job as a lawyer or psychiatrist.
I don't want my sister's baby because she, herself, was irresponsible while having sex. This child will end up having a miserable, broken life no matter what happens after it's born. And that's cruel.
Therefore, I don't want my sister's to have this baby. I don't want her to carry it to term. She's only around two weeks pregnant, so there's plenty of time to get an abortion. I need to get this off my chest, but I want nothing more than for this child to not be born, no matter what.
I'm not a monster, so of course I won't hurt the born or unborn baby, but I definitely don't want a niece or nephew in our current circumstances. I understand that it's her choice whether to keep the baby, but she needs to learn that there is a correct choice when it comes to how she is, and the situation we are living in.
I also understand that if she decides to keep the baby, it's for more reasons than because of an iPhone. But it baffles me that that's one of the few driving reasons she'd want to keep the kid.
I'm tired. Everything is awful. My mother shouldn't want Sofia to keep the baby. And Sofia should learn there's a time and a place to have a baby, and it's not right now. If this child is born, nobody will be happy. And I seem to be the only one who thinks that's incredibly sad. I wish everyone would understand that.
On top of this, Sofia had cut all contact with the father. She won't even tell me who he is. Yet another reason this child will be miserable.
It's sad. Truly sad. I feel hopeless, that if my sister chooses to ruin her future, that my own could be dragged down with it. If I am asked to be the primary caregiver to the baby, then there goes my future, too. I love babies, but they're the last thing I need right now. I have priorities, and trust me, having kids isn't one of them.
This situation is awful, and there's nothing I can do about it except twiddle my thumbs and hope she comes to her senses. And that's horrible.
Before we give you OP's major update about the situation, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
throwawy7 writes:
Hey, that's a truly awful situation to be in. I think you need to sit down with just your sister and have a really blunt conversation with her. On how it will ruin her future, how the pregnancy will be difficult. Your mum had difficult pregnancies as an adult, as a 13yr old, it will not go smoothly.
Look up the statistics for complications and death during child birth for teenage pregnancies, the younger the mother the worse it is. There's so much risk to both herself and the baby, and for what?
It sounds harsh but it might scare your sister into realising she is best to abort. Life will completely change for all of you no matter how well the pregnancy goes.
I second the talking to CPS as others have said (or equivalent where you are). There's no way that the baby will be cared for properly, especially as you will have 1 room with 2 teenagers and a baby.
They may be able to help you in your situation or if later you are being forced to take care of the baby.
rockyrocky writes:
Hey OP. You seem incredible mature and intelligent, and I do really think it’s the best call for you to get out of your situation asap.
if you really are wanting to consider law or psychology in the future, I think it’s important that you look at why your 13 year old sister is making up these lies and why she has violent tendencies. Is there a way to help her get out of the situation she’s in as well?
Is there someone your sister can go a speak to, such as a councillor? As a few others have commented, it’s most likely she’s being abused herself. A 13 year old cannot consent to sex (not in my country, anyway). Sending you lots of love and best wishes for the future.
geezell writes:
God, I’m so sad now. So many children’s lives in full-blown destruction mode under one roof. OP, think unapologetically selfishly now. You are going to have to hunker down and ensure the next few years. Hit the books.
Get a bank account that only you have access too. Get a job. Save every freaking penny. Do not let your family bully you into sharing your money for the “family.”
Start looking at higher educational options and how to live away from home while you get that education. It’s not fair and your youth is being robbed from you but you must start thinking about your own security and a way to exit the environment ASAP.
xtali9 writes:
Ontario resident and social worker here. You are able to live on your own at 16. Considering your situation I would suggest that you take time to think about getting out and going through the shelter system for housing.
Speak to a counsellor or social worker about your situation and the violence and crisis you experience from your sister’s actions and behaviour.
She will eventually get pregnant for real, knowing now that your mom will give her attention and bribe her.
I’ve gone through something similar myself and have been on my own since 16. My own son moved out of my house and in with family at 17 because of our housing situation.
What was supposed to be temporary became him being stuck living with an abusive, alcoholic grandfather for two years because of the pandemic and his mental health suffered.
We managed to get him a spot in youth housing and he spent a year in their program before being offered an apartment in a nice building. He’s 23 now and has been at his apartment for 4 years with help from housing subsidies.
Check your closest YMCA for second stage housing programs, for youth 16-24. It may take a while but it will lead to your own apartment. Youth who are in these programs become housing priorities. You don’t need to live this way, waiting for things to blow up. I wish you the best of luck and safety.
If you can’t wait to turn 16, call CAS. They will take you in and place you in a group home if you ask and can offer you more support until you’re 21, if you are made a Ward of the Crown, which terminates your parent’s’ custody rights.
And now, OP's major update about the situation:
EDIT (UPDATE): so.. she lied? about everything? To the people asking how she knew at two weeks: yeah, I thought it was weird, too. That's why I adamantly told her she's not pregnant. But she insisted, so I gave in. My mom took her to a doctor's appointment just a few hours ago.
According to her, Sofia never took a pregnancy test, let alone with her. But my sister did come to her with concerns for pregnancy. And my mom did want her to keep the baby if it were true.
My best assumption was that it was for attention, because she already came her friends unconcerned like "...omg... im throwing up already uwu.." but, yeah. I'm incredibly relieved. As crappy as it is for her to lie like that, I'm glad it's just that. Lies.
signalhistorian writes:
You’re only a child yourself and yet sound like the only adult in this situation. Call cps and tell them about all of that. And don’t take care of the child. Don’t. You’re still a child, it’s not your job.
Tell your family exactly that, that if they decide that it’s best to keep the baby, it’s their business and you’ll have nothing to do with it. Not financially, no babysitting, .. nothing. You’re completely full with taking care of yourself, prepare for your future and your own life.
If she decides she wants a life with a child at age 13, that’s her decision. It has nothing to do with you. And if they call you selfish, tell your parents that that’s obviously a result of their parenting.
Plus, it’s absolutely healthy to be selfish sometimes. On top of that, them expecting you to do anything towards something you don’t want and have nothing to do with, so they’ll have a easier life, which they could choose, is beyond selfish of them.