'AITA for telling my brother and SIL there's nothing I can do about their Christmas card photos being unsendable?'
"AITA for telling my brother and SIL there's nothing I can do about their Christmas card photos being unsendable?"
No_Damage9275
My brother and SIL got their Christmas card photo taken about a month ago now. They used a friend of mine who does family photos. This has apparently encouraged them to expect a lot out of me.
Because now they have a problem and they don't know what to do. My brother and SIL have been married for 3 years and have a 6 month old together. SIL also has two older kids (13 and 11) from her first marriage.
She was a widow when my brother met her. They are not the nicely blended family they wanted to be and her kids from the first marriage didn't want to be in the photos.
There was a huge battle to take them but the kids look a mix of angry and disgusted in all of them. Like legit glaring and looking ready to puke. While my SIL and brother are smiling and the baby looks peaceful. A couple of them even show how distant they want to be from my brother and the baby. It's like they're leaning away from them.
SIL said the photos are unsendable and there's no way she could let family and friends see them. But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here? They complained to me three times so far and the last time they told me I need to do something and fix it.
I asked them what they expected me to do, that I'm not the kids favorite person or even a trusted adult in their eyes and I can't magically erase their expressions. My friend was honest with them while the photos were being taken but they didn't take it serious until they saw them.
I told them after back and forth that there's nothing I can do about the photos being unsendable. SIL told me I'm not being very supportive. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Comfortable-Sea-2454
NTA.
"SIL said the photos are unsendable and there's no way she could let family and friends see them. But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do here? They complained to me three times so far and the last time they told me I need to do something and fix it.
I asked them what they expected me to do, that I'm not the kids favorite person or even a trusted adult in their eyes and I can't magically erase their expressions." My friend was honest with them while the photos were being taken but they didn't take it serious until they saw them.
I told them after back and forth that there's nothing I can do about the photos being unsendable. SIL told me I'm not being very supportive.
What is there to support.
Your Bro and SIL forced her two older kids to go and have "family" photos taken and they weren't happy and it showed. Your Bro and Sil need to get real and understand that forcing things like this will only drive the kids away the second they turn 18.
Dependent-Feed1105
100%. I used to be a pro photographer. I quit because of people like OP's SIL. There's nothing I can do if your kid won't cooperate. And NO, you can't have a refund because your kids were brats or refused to smile. They should not have forced the older kids.
rocking_womble
NTA. "Our 'blended' family isn't and the photos we had taken reveals that..."
They are focussing on the wrong thing here - the photo's aren't the problem, the fact that the older kids likely resent their new half-sibling and are clearly unhappy with the current situation is the problem.
If they want to paper over the cracks, tell 'em to deepfake some smiles onto the older kids... but really, they need to put some effort into actually tackling the root cause of the 'unsendable' photos. The camera doesn't lie...
Ok_Reach_6527
NTA. It sounds like they want you to ask your friend for a free redo or their money back. If so, they are not being reasonable. They don't need a new picture with the older kids acting nice with fake smiles. They need to stop ignoring the kids' feelings and go to family therapy.
Kaynico
NTA. "How can I be more supportive of your kids from a previous marriage being visibly upset over being forced to do something they told you they don't want to do? This is a family issue, not a photography issue. Let me know if you think of ways I can support your kids in feeling more included in the family, but I can't magically change their feelings."
Organic-Mix-9422
NTA Maybe she should actually really look deeply look at the photos and realise this is not something a photographer can fix.